Papa sent me a message today

I signed up to  Trulyrich Club by Bo Sanchez a few weeks ago and everyday I receive wonderful messages from,uhm well.. God. :) You get the idea, that you read different messages everyday that's probably sent to thousands of subscribers of a particular club, that one day or the other the message suits your current situation? Well, today... I really felt the message was for me! Amazing.. as if really God talked to me that way ( I am not very good at hearing God's messages that's why I sometimes end up nowhere...)!  The email goes like this:

Dear maurelle,

Today, I want you to awaken your greatness within you.  It’s just waiting
to explode.

I believe you,
God

P.S. Let it go, maurelle.  Let it go.

Those words were like bullet shot straight to my soul! Whaamm! I have been delaying some things in my life, the what if game, the "I’ll just do that tomorrow" stuffs, the laziness, the " I can't freakin’ do that- with bangin' of my head.. hehehe" and all the other queen of excuses in the universe.

Last night, I was listening to a talk, it was so great that I got excited and wanted to clap my hands and jump over and over again - I just can't do that on that moment- it is so big time destructive so I just pictured it in my mind...great things are yet to come! Today, God affirmed that.

Dear maurelle - the word "dear" means a lovable person, Oh really? Thanks Papa for calling me that way, and the word maurelle - uhmm, that's my real name.

Today, I want you to awaken your greatness within you. - Today! -Papa didn't said yesterday or tomorrow..obviously He wanted me to act NOW! The word "awaken", doesn’t mean I'll look for it, IT IS ALREADY IN ME, I just need to switch the button and KABOOM! - oohhh I can imagine myself like Edward (Twilight) in the middle of the meadows..hihihi.. and I know what He truly means.

It’s just waiting to explode. - All this time I am waiting for "right" things to fall on my lap, but I was actually sitting on it already and all I need to do is stand up and shower it to the world ( I am getting emotional now...)

I believe you,God  - Believing. Conviction. Well, I believe I can..no matter what it takes!

P.S. Let it go, maurelle.  Let it go. - And this last words... I think it have the most impact on me. I know it meant two things.. The first "let go" (for those who have been reading my blogs, you now what it means) Letting go of the "historic happenings" and second, "let go" as in unleash my power, remove the inhibitions and just be who I wanna be and follow my BIG DREAMS.

And so now, at this moment I can really say I am elated.. in trance even! hahaha...all because I know I have great powers.. not to save the cheerleader ( Heroes? sounds familiar?) but powers to share to other people around me. Let's discuss that "power" next time ok? Today, I choose to explode and let go. ( Back ground music please!)

Ok, so I woke up and realized it is December 1^st. It has been a while, just a short while after “everything” that happened. Emotions I never thought would end but God is so great He revealed things that made my moving forward easier. I still remember the day all shifted, November 17, 2008. Now I know it’s a matter of decision, some would linger for a long time but few are determined not to look back and just step forward one at a time, I know I am at the latter.

I came across this line last week on an email- “ There comes a point in your life when you realize, who matters, who never did, WHO WONT ANYMORE..and who always will. So, I wont worry about people from my past, there’s a reason why they didn’t make it to my future” Yes, a reason for everything. Some would say I am bitter with what happened, well who wouldn’t be? But I know it will all pass (very soon I could taste it!), and I will use my brokenness to heal myself, be victorious for God and perhaps just to be happy for those who’ve hurt me ( well, its just one person you knaw.. hahaha)

Back to my day, It has been a long one, thanks it is holiday though I have to work – fun work. I started with a morning chat with Ate May, a mentor, leader and a friend. Then I met Genil and Leia at Grand Terrace to finalize their wedding reception program with their wedding planner. Ohh… can’t wait to plan my own wedding when the “heaven sent” comes along. J Good thing, VS&F had their food tasting session so we jumped in and 

savor the delicious food for free *wink*. After which I met another cute couple – Gina and Rodel- who came all the way from Pangasinan! I’ve seen Lorie again, their wedding planner, almost a year after her own wedding wherein I was privileged to be their emcee. After our discussion, we finished wondering whether we ordered Ice cream or milkshake ?! ( the banana split and the mud pie ‘s ice cream is melting already when served) hehehe… then I went to Trinoma where my family is waiting for me ( Mum and my brother Prince) so we could watch “ BOLT” at the big screen. It was a fantastic movie, I laughed like a child again. It was SOOO FUNNY!

I don’t want to end the day yet so I followed to where my friends’ having some Videoke trip-at Havana. Thea, Anne, Marco and Adz were there, happily singing. I suddenly missed the old days, the G-unit days I guess. Hahaha… Thea and Anne need to go home so we were dropped at Starbucks Congressional, another lovely place we usually hang out, and after weeks I decided to get my Starbucks planner since I’ve completed the stickers already – thank you to all those who made this possible ( I just want it documented with pictures and stuff that’s why I am delaying it, but I ended up getting it anyway without any fireworks, special effects or flashes of the camera) 

I went home happy. I don’t have the exact reasons why but I felt peaceful. Then I remember the peculiar sight I saw in the sky, it is still a rewarding pursuit, the 2 stars and the moon, They’re Venus and Jupiter, and you’ll find them in a beautiful arrangement with the waxing crescent moon in the evening twilight sky. They are the brightest object in the nightsky.

image: my Starbucks planner

 A friend even told me it doesn’t happen often and it would take place again on 2052. A wonderful time to wish for love and just like a little child I closed my eyes and said my prayers. I saw God smiling and today I announce my Valediction. My farewell to my past and my hello to a new beginning, Ohhh, and I am so excited!

“ I asked God for Happiness, and He said No. I give you blessings… Happiness is up to you.”

 

END OF THE CHAPTER

November 18, 2008 - 3:00 AM

Skipping work today isn't a  bad decision after all, I was home alone and I cant help but think about the things that happened...the BAD things. Apart from the slight fever, I thought I would regret giving  my mind an opportunity to rekindle everything, I was in bed the whole day and all I did was look at the white ceiling thinking I'll find the answers to my questions.

**some texts were deleted by the author*** 

Three weeks ago, at almost exactly the same time I thought it was the end of the  world for me, I was so devastated than I would cry more than I would eat. Doing the usual things but my subconscious was somewhere else. My trip to Mindoro that week was perfect to be alone with nature. I could count in my fingers ( on one hand) the times I received flowers and chocolates but God let me see the wonderful blue sky and the lovable sunset and that's greater than any tulips or ferrero. I would wish that all my sorrows that time set with the sun so  that at the breaking of dawn I will feel better. I wasn't successful, maybe because i still need to feel certain emotions that could make me a stronger person. My companion in Mindoro: my iPod and a book entitled "Captivating" , brilliant and very true it made me realize my essence as a woman. At the end of the week, I decided to say goodbye to the boogy guy  since I believe it was the best thing to do. But as I bid goodbye I know that my hope is larger than life that he would come back, fight for me, say that he did mistakes and will ever be regretful for what happened and he would want me back... well, nothing like that happened. Just a simple " wait for me" was thrown in the air.  The remaining days of the week was even tougher,worse I spent it at my hometown, my pain being obvious to my mother. I would just cry often and would  rarely eat. Why am I crying? Maybe because I was so sad that a love was lost..

**some texts were deleted by the author*** 

Third week was even better, I started my therapy, unfortunately it was a shopping therapy! If my calculation is right, I bought around 15  pieces of blouses,gowns and pants, had my Spa treat, watched Gary V concert and the big time therapy? I bought an SLR camera! We can never buy happiness but at least I have something close to that.. hahaha...

***some texts were deleted by the author*** 

As for me, it's as if a bullet was taken out of my heart. I know I loved him dearly,  but that doesn't mean I will continue to wait for the last thing at the Pandora's Box... to hope that he really did love me. Enough is enough. 

Today, I realized a lot of things, it is so wonderful to be alive and be able to love. Grateful for the stitches of life God is offering me. As of today, this chapter of my life is finally over. I will never look back. I will never have a happy ending on this chapter, so it's time to start with a new beginning... A new  chapter that I will color with brilliant pastels just like the last time. It will not assure me yet of a fairy tale ending but I am so excited for the wondrous things God planned for me. I will trust Him and believe that he is the best writer in universe. It's payback time... and just like a friend of mine said...the SWEETEST revenge is living a happy life.

I will end this blog with lyrics from another song, this time from Eric Bennet:

In the End

But in the end, a little love's gonna bring you back again
And in the end, every answer is written on the wind
And in the end, looking back you can finally understand
He was always there besides you, you'll see
Cause I know the fight
When you struggle every moning
Just the face that world one more day

And you holding onto life
While i know the wind is blowing
Just believe your help is on the way

In the end, you're gonna find that strength that lies within
And in the end, you're gonna get there no matter where you' ve been
Cause in the end, well the one through is love will always win
And the hand of God will guide you
Just believe him and let him in

Invincible

It’s not  just some sort of power or what. It is a song I heard on my iTunes. Sang by Christian Bautista entitled Invincible.

Well, have you ever wished you were invincible? I remember Peter Petrilli, he has this ability in the series Heroes. But If I will to choose, I would rather want to  meet the Haitian guy and beg to remove all the unpleasant memories but I would still think twice I guess.. coz as much as I want to retain  just the wonderful memories, these..what should I call it, nightmares maybe, will make me a better woman one way  or another.

So much for that, here’s the lyrics of the song

Invincible by Christian Bautista

I don’t have nerves of steel
I have a heart that feels
I may have cried a million
tears but I wont drown
I let myself unfold
Gave you my hand to hold
You took me beyond where
I could see
And then you let go of me. .

I was damaged by the fall
Got the wind knocked out of me
To be standing here at all
I must be invincible
I thought that I would break
But now I have come to see
Something strong and beautiful
Inside of me
I must be invincible
I dont have X-rays eyes
Don’t have a heart so wise
How could I have known
you’d let me down
If I had known that then
my eyes were wide open
I still believe I would’ve risked it
There’s no way i would’ve missed it

Alone

As I sit beside my bed, I can feel that I am alone. I think it was a bad idea to skip work today, it made things worse. I cannot be alone because it’s the time that I remember every thing, every detail, and every hurt of what happened. I know I don’t deserve this, that I have to move on with life…but it seems so hard to do now. Do I really have to take in all the pain, the bad memories and some people I‘d wish never came in my life? I am scared… of the future. Terrified that there is really something wrong with me, that I am not for anyone and I am destined to be alone. My family and my friends, they will always be there but at the end of the day when we close our eyes to sleep, as we breathe in a days work and beg for a salvation from the ache we are into, does anything really matter…

want to be invincible?

It's not  just some sort of power or what. It is a song I heard on my iTunes. Sang by Christian Bautista entitled Invincible.

Well, have you ever wished you were invincible? I remember Peter Petrilli, he has this ability in the series Heroes. But If I will to choose, I would rather want to  meet the Haitian guy and beg to remove all the unpleasant memories but I would still think twice I guess.. coz as much as I want to retain  just the wonderful memories, these..what should I call it, nightmares maybe, will make me a better woman one way  or another.

So much for that, here's the lyrics of the song

Invincible by Christian Bautista

I don't have nerves of steel
I have a heart that feels
I may have cried a million
tears but I wont drown
I let myself unfold
Gave you my hand to hold
You took me beyond where
I could see
And then you let go of me. .

I was damaged by the fall
Got the wind knocked out of me
To be standing here at all
I must be invincible
I thought that I would break
But now I have come to see
Something strong and beautiful
Inside of me
I must be invincible

I dont have X-rays eyes
Don't have a heart so wise
How could I have known
you'd let me down

If I had known that then
my eyes were wide open
I still believe I would've risked it
There's no way i would've missed it

Point Blank

I am already at the point of no return.

When the one you dearly love will belong to someone else, I can’t picture the idea. Whenever I begin to think about it, everything seems to crumble, my heart, my mind and my soul. How such unsightly event could happen to me…to us.

It hurts to realize that the love you gave wasn’t given back the way you wanted it to be.

It hurts to realize that the man you thought will end up with you in an ever after wasn’t there.

It hurts to know that you gave your heart just to fall to pieces.

If I haven’t given the love

If I wasn’t expecting for an ever after

If I didn’t offer my heart

Then everything right now is not the way it should be

But here I am, helpless and never gonna save the love that vanished in the rain

Someday, I know I will write a better story

Life is full of surprises, and I never thought this can be a grandeur bolt from the blue

The man I loved, my baby… will soon *some texts deleted by the author*

And it truly broke my heart :_(

point blank

I am already at the point of no return.
When the one you dearly love will belong to someone else, I can’t picture the idea. Whenever I begin to think about it, everything seems to crumble, my heart, my mind and my soul. How such unsightly event could happen to me…to us.
It hurts to realize that the love you gave wasn’t given back the way you wanted it to be.
It hurts to realize that the man you thought will end up with you in an ever after wasn’t there.
It hurts to know that you gave your heart just to fall to pieces.
If I haven’t given the love
If I wasn’t expecting for an ever after
If I didn’t offer my heart
Then everything right now is not the way it should be
But here I am, helpless and never gonna save the love that vanished in the rain
Someday, I know I will write a better story
Life is full of surprises, and I never thought this can be a grandeur bolt from the blue

The man, my baby… will soon marry… a strange “another” woman
And it truly breaks my heart

just like the hurricane

Cause when the tears start flowin' and the wind starts blowin'
That's how you know it's comin' for you
When the rain start fallin' and you feel the pain comin'
That's how you know it's comin' for you

Just like a hurricane,
the way you broke my heart and now I'm left with the pain
After the hurricane

Blue Sky

It's always been an all time fave for me :)

BLUE SKY
Artist: Hale

When do stars fade their light?
Does the moon and the sun make it right
For you the world maybe
Like an endless storm chasing a mystery

Is there hate in your heart?
Does your body drop and tell you to stop
Loving you or loving me
When it all falls down you just sing with me

Coz there’s a blue sky waiting tomorrow
Waiting tomorrow shining and shimmering
A blue sky waiting tomorrow
Waiting tomorrow
Maybe it’s all we need

Oh don’t you wash away that smile
You just look out the window and see the light
It’s beautiful to be alive
It’s wonderful to live a life

The sun is sure to shine
For you and me for everyone
So don’t be sad it’s just the start
Of a new beginning in your life

Rain will keep on pouring
Some things you can’t control
And while the sun seems far and hard to hold
It will unfold

There will always be a blue sky
A blue sky waiting tomorrow full of hope
yeah, full of hope

If I were a Boy?

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
If I were a boy

It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong


But you're just a boy
You don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you’ll wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you've taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy…

( excerpt from If I Were A Boy lyrics by Beyonce) 

AND I WILL NEVER BE A BOY... BUT A GIRL WHO WILL ALWAYS LONG FOR THE RIGHT BOY TO COME - Sweet

he made history...

He won.

Why me?

It’s as if I was dreaming, I tried to contain the misery but I also want to break down and cry. Cry my heart out until I’ll be dehydrated and eventually die. Grieve over a love that was lost and perhaps would never go back again. They say “suffering occurs when we want other people to love us in the way we imagine we want to be loved, and not in the way that love should manifest itself-free and untrammeled, guiding us with it’s force and driving us on- The Zahir by Paolo Coelho ” but is it also true that we have to demand and long for a faithful love right?

Yesterday seemed to be the longest day for me this year, I would just stop and think about some things and I would sob and wipe unintentional tears. Everything seemed to be black and gray, colors where nowhere to be found. I lost it, the rainbow I was looking for and the pot of gold was not even there or I thought so it would be there.

Sometimes I would think I am selfish, at some point stupid or maybe “martyr” if this generation still use such word. I forgave easily the person I love but I wasn’t expecting it was hard to forget. Pieces of the crap that happened intermittently flashes in my mind, hunting me and questioning myself. “What the hell is wrong with me?” Why would it be me? Even though I ask, I definitely know the answers, not to the incident per se but why it was me, of all people it has been always me! Well, because I am God’s favorite and as usual I cant have any problem that I cannot handle ( easy to say but hard to accept) and I now Papa (God) is with me in my sorrows and He has greater plans on why all of these are happening not yesterday, not tomorrow but TODAY!

Why me?

It’s as if I was dreaming, I tried to contain the misery but I also want to break down and cry. Cry my heart out until I’ll be dehydrated and eventually die. Grieve over a love that was lost and perhaps would never go back again. They say “suffering occurs when we want other people to love us in the way we imagine we want to be loved, and not in the way that love should manifest itself-free and untrammeled, guiding us with it’s force and driving us on- The Zahir by Paolo Coelho ” but is it also true that we have to demand and long for a faithful love right?

Yesterday seemed to be the longest day for me this year, I would just stop and think about some things and I would sob and wipe unintentional tears. Everything seemed to be black and gray, colors where nowhere to be found. I lost it, the rainbow I was looking for and the pot of gold was not even there or I thought so it would be there.

Sometimes I would think I am selfish, at some point stupid or maybe “martyr” if this generation still use such word. I forgave easily the person I love but I wasn’t expecting it was hard to forget. Pieces of the crap that happened intermittently flashes in my mind, hunting me and questioning myself. “What the hell is wrong with me?” Why would it be me? Even though I ask, I definitely know the answers, not to the incident per se but why it was me, of all people it has been always me! Well, because I am God’s favorite and as usual I cant have any problem that I cannot handle ( easy to say but hard to accept) and I now Papa (God) is with me in my sorrows and He has greater plans on why all of these are happening not yesterday, not tomorrow but TODAY!

questions that i don't know the answers

Love. How would you define it? How far can you go in the name of love? Will it be easy to forgive if we consider love? What about forgetting-forgetting the pain brought about love? Life is supposed to be simple, a blessing everyday…but what if catastrophe comes and ruin the simple life and the love we have known? Can someone hurt you and do something bad but loves you at the same time? Would you understand any situation because of love? When do we stop and consider if the basis of our decisions are still out of love? Unconditional love, a love determined to stay in spite the aches. As for me, I really do not know, my heart and mind cannot feel and think right now… I just know my heart is being squeezed very hard and tears come running down in my eyes.

rebirth

I won't say goodbye to my multiply site but I just thought it was too public for my blogs...


for my past blogs  : www.gorgeousweet.multiply.com

Welcome = )

the firsts...today

Two things today...

1. I "seriously" went back to the gym! I woke up 6:00 AM to work out again and the hour of exercising did  FELT good! The happy hormones splurging! Can't wait to loose the baby PHAT! I am "decided" to make it a daily routine from now on, it gives me a powerful thinking and a positive disposition in life... hahaha...guess it's all in the mind.

2. I got the new Ipod nano (chromatic)with Genius technology. You see, I  was just strolling at the mall after dinner and I remembered reading at the newspaper this morning about the latest in Ipod which was released this September. It's been a while that I lost track of my music sense when I lend my Ipod.. hahaha..It's Rockalicious! Curve ahead of the curve. Great looks and "brain" too. Rock and Roll over!

It's time to shake my groove thing again!

Check out the website : http://www.apple.com/ipodnano/

Obsessed with Twilight?

I ran through this article while of course...searching for twilight stuffs. Most of them are true to me and I think I need to come up with my own list soon!






You know you're obsessed with Twilight if...

1. You start going up to random people to tell them you want an Edward!
2. You think your next door neighbor looks like a vampire, or he really is a vampire.
3. You try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them.
4. You've read Twilight and New Moon at least 5 times each!
5. You check on this site 5 times (or more) a day to see if there's any new Twilight news.
6. You think your best friend's crazy for not reading Twilight or New Moon.
7. You give your teachers Twilight and/or New Moon for Christmas.
8. When you see a box labeled "Forks" at a restaurant you think there's something imported from Forks, Washington in there.
9. Twilight has ruined any and all future reading for you.
10. You use Twilight for every single school project that pops up.
11. You break up with your boyfriend because he doesn't glitter in the sun like Edward does.
12. You watch the show Moonlight and imagine Beth as Bella and Mick as Edward.

source : http://bellaandedward.com/funlists.php

100% Twilighter

A Twilighter : ( twahy-lahyt-er), noun
              - An overly obsessed fan of the Twilight Saga


 
I have never been this addicted! But yeah, Edward Cullen is my drug! My personal miracle. There's too much about the Twilight Saga that made me and I believe millions of other "Cullens wanna be" out there, so hooked with it's story.


I usually see the books displayed on leading bookstores' special areas. Of course, it's a New York Times Best Selling Series..duh! And I wasn't aware of that until I decided to grab a copy of Breaking Dawn ( I was curious with the poster in Powerbooks Megamall " The waiting is over" - and I simply asked.." what is it about this book that readers are waiting for?!" Am I missing something here? A fad I am unaware of? YES! YES! YES! I did missed that! ) But it's history now because eversince I started reading the Saga..it change the way I eat, breath and live..sorry if I am exaggerating but really. trust me...it is unexplainable.

August 17, 2008, Sunday afternoon  - I bought Twilight at Natl Bookstore Trinoma. The cliche? Once you pop..you can't stop! I finished the book Monday afternoon.





August 18, 2008, Monday ( holiday) evening - I grabbed the sequel -New Moon at the same bookstore , I tried to purchase it from Powerbooks but obviously it's SOLD OUT! I finished reading it Tuesday afternoon.




August 19, 2008, Tuesday ( still holiday) evening, I got my reserved Breaking Dawn from Powerbooks Trinoma. I wanna make sure I will have the last book on hand when it's time. But I am having problems with Eclipse..almost all bookstores and its outlets said that the book is only available on hardbound for now. Arrghh...I wanna bite some human that time..Sorry..I just got to carried away wanting to be a vampire...you know. Anyway, I  had the E-book of Eclipse as an alternative because I can't live one more day without setting my eyes on the story again. I tried to read it but I get bored easily because of the set-up. Well, I have to read on the wide screen of my laptop and that made me seriously sick! I can't read Eclipse if I will go the the powder room, if I ride the PUJ or the MRT, when I am on another place waiting for a late friend and so on and so forth. So It took me all the effort to find my "real" Eclipse book and oh bloody hell I found a paperback copy at Fullybooked Rockwell last August 21! Hurray..from then on, I read it even when I am lying on bed and never have to worry that my laptop would drop into my face when I fall asleep!

I finished Eclipse, Saturday morning- August  23, 2008 leaving the Breaking Dawn the last but definitely an anticipated sequel.  

All in all,it just took me a week to finish the Twilight Saga and mind you, I really read each and every word from the book. I never skipped or missed a page feeling afraid that I might overlook on some great scenes.

August 24, 2008- my mind is floating in thin air, I suddenly wanted to be a vampire.. be a Cullen vampire specifically and look for an Edward that I know never exists. This Saga really gave a weird effect on my sanity.

Now I find myself browsing through almost every You tube I come across to, Google-ling  for all possible and best sources of Twilight Saga updates and products like shirts and button pins, trailers of the upcoming movie on November 2008 ( I have to watch the premiere! I won't last another day) and any other tidbits as long as it is related with the Saga. Sharing insights with co-twilighters like Nina, Thea, Mia  and Trina and encouraging other friends to join the coven like Maan, Joan, Love, Gracie and Lani and oh so many other friends who are missing a vampire romantic story in their lives and joining every single forum and groups /coven that felt the same way I did when I finished reading the story.
 

The Twilight Saga is  a force I can't escape, an addiction that is unstoppable, a new hope for love and a love that will make you believe it will last forever...a surrender to be Edward's lamb... An Isabella Swan in my own personal way! This is so not me but I am lovin' it. Truly, Stephanie Meyer did a marvelous job writing such Saga.

  How about you? Are you a Twilighter?

  I am and 100%. : )
-

 

questions i do not know the answers

Love. How would you define it? How far can you go in the name of love? Will it be easy to forgive if we consider love? What about forgetting-forgetting the pain brought about love? Life is supposed to be simple, a blessing everyday…but what if catastrophe comes and ruin the simple life and the love we have known? Can someone hurt you and do something bad but loves you at the same time? Would you understand any situation because of love? When do we stop and consider if the basis of our decisions are still out of love? Unconditional love, a love determined to stay in spite the aches. As for me, I really do not , my heart and mind cannot feel and think right now… I just know my heart is being squeezed very hard and tears come running down in my eyes.

Missin'

I was so happy to purchase the missing book from the Twilight sequel – “ Eclipse” paperback – from Fullybooked in Rockwell this afternoon! Now I can’t wait to finish everything! Imagine Twilight last Sunday, New Moon on Monday, Eclipse – overly excited to finish it and finally move on to Breaking the Dawn ( I bought this 4^th book since it took me some time to finally discover the paperback of Eclipse at Rockwell) Maybe I can talk more about this sequel on a different blog… Anyway, I still had the chance to drop by early at Shangri-La mall to meet Sheila so we can talk about some details in her wedding reception. Bon appétit is nowhere to be found so we just grabbed pizza and pasta at Green Tomatoes ( Sundried pesto and shrimp for pasta and 4 kinds of Cheese for Pizza..yum..yum) and we can’t help our feet that brought is to our dessert at Secret Recipe ( chocolate overload over English breakfast tea, how was that? I can see Mr. Fatty coming…)

I just realized it was a long day… here I am blogging and still have to finish my presentation tomorrow at work. I just can’t focus on some thing most especially when there’s something lackin’. I don’t know but there is really something…

magnet

8.14.8 / 7:46 PM

My feet brought me to North Park for dinner. Lately, I am not feeling good because of my cough, cold and slight fever but I needed to be alone for dinner to release my stress from work (whoops…I am usually alone during dinner….) and good food to couple my sentimental moment. I sipped my house tea while waiting for my Noodle Soup – Whole Wheat with Wanton. The other table adjacent to me caught my attention; they are demonstrating something by pushing a man about 50 years of age. From my eavesdropping skill with few glances on the side, I learned they are showing the wonders of a certain magnet. It could make you stronger for a period of time, athletes use it, semi-paralyzed muscles can move and a lot more magnet stories…the person leading the group said that since our body is composed of 75% water (he wasn’t sure about it at first, thinking it might be just 50%..hehehe) and the rest is blood - the red liquid that has an iron component which increases with the present of the magnet. Hmmm… not that I don’t believe them, my mom actually has one of those magnet thing that a nun gave her at our local church, I can’t just help butsee myself looking for a “magnet” in my life .

I am really frustrated with my performance at work today, yesterday, the day before yesterday and maybe for the past few months already. One day I am doing the best then I’ll fall the next day doing things badly. I can’t even imagine the Sweet I am seeing right now. I don’t blame my bosses and I can’t even blame the work I was assigned to do. But sometimes, inevitable circumstances can happen and when I am in the middle of it I would feel that it is my responsibility, lest it is my mistake. I would blame myself, dwell on my emotion and never move on and patch things up. I wish I have a magnet that can take away all the bad feelings, something that can just pull out the negative vibes that retain when I feel guilty, and a ginormous magnet that will just attract happy thoughts and help me move forward and prove that I am capable of learning from the blunder I committed.

I wish I do have that magnet but I don’t … well at the end of the day it is God who becomes my source of magnetized energy, hope and love. From Him I draw my strength for the next pocketful of sunshine when I wake. Tomorrow will be a new day and I need to carry that “magnet” with me at work so I can be very productive! Go Sweet Go!

So I scoop the remaining soup from my bowl, paid my bill and finished this blog.

a fresh start

8.3.8

I am fond of having my own journal (more popular as a “diary” then) ever since I was in grade school but I don’t know where to start and I am afraid someone else would find and read about it specially my mom. Come high school and “organizer” has become a fad. I finally decided to write my life story, inscribing it on my first “organizer” that mom bought from Expressions ( a popular bookstore in our province before when NBS is nowhere to be found). It became more of a visual journal rather than paragraphs of what I’ve been through from day to day. I loved my English class and even loved making poems and stories more when I took the Elective class in third year high school. I can still picture my “terror” English teacher with gigantic eye glasses, encouraging us to express ourselves in writing and so I did! I was very happy when my Dad bought me a Mead organizer from the states, the leather cover is good and the paper quality is even better! That inspired me to continue writing using my favorite ball point pen.

When I reach college, I continue to note down my experiences, though it has not been as serious before, maybe because of a busy schedule. I have to study you knaw!  After a while, I suddenly stop writing, I can’t remember when, maybe third year or early fourth year college. I just don’t know why, perhaps I was busier than ever. After I graduated from college, Internet continues to boom and by 2004 I registered my first blog but barely updated it. I got my first Starbucks organizer in 2006 and began to put pen to paper one more time. After I set up my first blog few years ago, I have put up more than one but never maintained an official blog, from blogspot, wordpress, livejournal, multiply, xanga, friendster, blah blah blah… I am not really comfortable with the idea than my friends and family might be reading my day to day experience…hehehe…I attempted to formally start blogging again on days like my birthday, Christmas, New Year, first day of the month etc. but I fall short. 

But this morning, I read that having a journal is like having a Soul Spa. It is a form of listening to one self, to our emotions, and that’s exactly what I need! And so at this very moment I am starting one of my passions again. I don’t just blog because it’s a vogue… but because I know it will help me grow more each day. We all wanted better days for our lives and through this blog I will relive that pocketful of sunshine that I once dream of.

Journal is like having a Soul Spa. It is a form of listening to one self, to our emotions, and that’s exactly what I need! And so at this very moment I am starting one of my passions again. I don’t just blog because it’s a vogue… but because I know it will help me grow more each day. We all wanted better days for our lives and through this blog I will relive that pocketful of sunshine that I once dream of.

Bizu? Buzy?Buzy!

I found myself ordering blueberry and cream pancake at Bizu. An early morning meeting deserves a good breakfast ayt? D pancake came wid blueberry overload and delightful cream spread on top. It just took me a number of minutes to chew and swallow everything as we started to talk over the important details for our meeting at SEPCo by 10am.

Time went by and after the series of meetings,i really felt drained,my forehead even palpitating. I decided to end the night with a Swedish massage at SM d block. Before I went to sleep,I thought of the blueberry I ate this morning...I should start another day with a good breakfast. You knaw, there is a saying " STRESSED is DESSERTS spelled backwards." How was that!

Congrats Genil and Leia.. oopss hindi pa nila wedding ha..

Tada! The couple who bagged it all! Check out www.weddingrings.com.ph and see who won the Trip to Singapore promo  courtesy of Chu-u-yen Events! blow out naman soon to be Mr and Mrs. Genil and Leia Diana! Mabuhay!

to the moon and back

So I am here again at the airport, still 22nd of May 2008. Getting ready on my way back to Manila by 7:55 in the evening. This morning I told about my quicky trip to Laoag. Even though a little frustrating that I never get to see the scenic views I enumerated before, I still felt the ambiance of Laoag. The roadshow was successful and as I came out of the hotel I saw a beautiful rainbow drawn in the sky! Hmm, when was the last time I saw a rainbow? I suddenly felt the camera and lights focused on me as i imagined being on my pocketful of sunshine moment. I remember a verse from a song I loved dearly.." There's a rainbow after the rain..." Then I snapped back into reality. Guess I still have to wait for that rightful rainbow huh?

Laoag here I come...

It's 9:17 AM. I need to peek through my calendar to see what date it is today, 22nd of May 2008. I am here at the Domestic airport of PAL waiting for our plane to Laoag! I am excited to visit the place, it is actually the first time that I went out for a trip not with my SFC family( coz we usually go to conferences..hehehe). This time, it's some kind of work related thing but still I get to go to Laoag.

Here's what you can find in Laoag :

• The Sinking Bell Tower
• St. William Cathedral
• Ilocos Norte Capitol
• The Tobacco Monopoly Monument
• La Paz Sand Dunes (m ventura hi-way)
• Malacanang of the North
• Fort Ilocandia Resort and Hotel
• Casino Filipino
• 18-hole Golf Course designed by Gary Player
• Pagudpud White Sand Beaches
• Ilocos Lighthouse
• Bangui Windmills
• Ilocos Norte Museum

It is all here! The scenes I just see on TV.. well, I really wanted to go to Pagudpud - the white beaches of the North. But you know what, I cant get to see all these today.. because I will not even stay for a night.. hahaha.. We will arrive at 11Am in Laoag and have our trip back to Manila by 8:00PM. Purely business huh?!

Next time I go to Laoag, it has to be a vacation perhaps with my family and my boyfriend :) Can't wait to really be in Pagudpud and also Bangui Windmills to spread my arms in its field.

9:40AM - we need to board the plane! tata!

step up!

I was sitting on my boss' office and suddenly he jokingly said " Pa-autograph". He then handed me my the note that I needed to sign :

"...We are delighted to inform your promotion from Marketing Officer to Senior Marketing Officer effective May 1, 2008..."

What can I say? So i just signed the sheet of paper and smiled. Thanking God with the wonderful blessing I received. Actually, I am very thankful that I came to work with the company I am right now. I was hired September 10, 2007. I am proud to say that this is my first "serious" job at the age of 26. First, they gave me the chance to enter the marketing world. Well you know I was trying to convince myself before I am suited in the medical field but certainly up until now I never regret the decisions I have made in my life. To step up and follow the path that I chose. It may not be the right one...but along the way I am truly sure God will make it right.

Cheers and more and more promotions to come! :)

Mama's Day

My mom is turning 50 by June. I can still remember when I was very young, I have been her number one fan since day one and I can't find the words to thank her for being there for me and my brother. She has always been the light and foundation of our family. She gives it all to us..from unconditionaly love, undivided time and even for simply being there for us in laughter and tears. I admire her strong personalty which I believe I quite inherited some. I thank God for giving us the chance to be born with a caring mother like her and we will continue to give back all the love she have been sharing with us. Happy Mother's Day Mama! We Love you!

May 11, 2008

We  walked to Trinoma to eat lunch at Bacolod Inasal- it's supposed to be a wonderful lunch eating native foods but the service was not good and it almost ruined our day. When my brother arrived we flew to the Cinema to watch a movie - Speed Racer. We liked the movie even though we wished it has a different ending.*sigh* We also had alittle shopping spree at the Landmark and ended the day with a fine dining at Italianni's. A simple but very memorable way to celebrate Mother's Day at the year 2008!




Mama and I  before dinner time






























Prince and Mama      

                         




















Our Mudra


















A happy Mother's day too to our beloved Lola Estrella (with grandchildren Cinderella and Melville)

A GRACE FROM NEVERLAND

May 7, 2008

I will never get tired of greeting this very special lady a Happy birthday.
Vanessa Grace Virtudazo.
(Grace,Gracie,Vannie?!, Sanggre, Dyosa, honey? hahaha etc..)

Whatever you wanna call her, she remains to be a good friend of mine. Love you Gracie!

A Grace from Neverland

May 7, 2008

She is another sister I never had.
Happy Birthday Gracie!

double cheesecake day

I just started to sip my cup of tea at Coffee Bean, my feet seems really tired so I took off my shoes first as I sat on this couch. It feels soooo good!

It's first day of the week so there are really a lot things to do at work. I have 2 meetings scheduled today at Edsa Shang hotel. After all i need to accomplish at the office I ready myself to travel my way to our meeting place. 3 pm I am sitting a the Lobby Lounge. As I browse thorough the menu I spotted the Halo-halo but my boss ordered it already so instead, I rewarded my self with double cheesecake! (74298$%#@! calories...)

So here's my fare share of story today. Remember I was bickering about my stress - with zillion of reasons why? I am thankful because I am still blessed. I actually met with our partner client to talk about an upcoming event. She is the Marketing Head of the company we work with on this project. I believe she is at the epitome of her career, she is in the business for so many many years already. Honestly I admire her, I can really sense how good she is in her field. I hope to be like her someday when it comes to her abilities in the marketing field.

But just when I thought she have everything, I realized its not an assurance that everything else will be in your direction all the time. She shared her story about her family and I can really see in her eyes the pain she's going through. I suddenly thought about the petty things I used to complain and it is nothing compared to the stories I have witnessed that afternoon.

This is not just about the "successful woman" i told you about, it is making me think twice before I complain with the small bad things that I should not be paying attention to. There are lot more that I should focus on and be thankful with like the time I wake up in the morning, the I love yous that I receive everyday, the work I have and even the smiles I receive from other people. These and many small things that can make a big difference in my life each day. Just like the double cheesecake I ordered that afternoon. More double cheesecakes to come!

Forbidden?

As I told earlier, "something" aside from my boyfriend is driving me crazy. That weird feeling of emptiness as if there is no way you can find whatever it is. Arrgggh! I was so frustrated when I learned that my bf won't come by to see me. It has been 4 weeks since I saw him, though we usually talk over the phone I am pretty much a "quality time together" person. I wanted him beside me at this time of crisis - if that's what I have to call it then so be it- but women really thinks differently from men. So to temporarily get rid of my annoyance I texted my gurlfriend Anne to join me in the afternoon at the mall, we even planned to watch a movie since I am through with my meetings in the morning.

Anne was with Louie so we first headed to Mexicali to grab some food. I ordered Grilled Chicken while my friends had a Taco Salad. We decided to watch "Forbidden Kingdom" by 7:20 PM, but first we have to attend the mass in a nearby church. You see, God first before anything else *wink*. We were not satisfied with the mirienda so along the way to the church we bought FIC ice cream so our tongue can recover from the garlic sauce after taste in Mexicali.


(Waiting for our Mexicali meals)

After mass, we bought the movie tickets for 7:20PM. The movie was really funny, what annoyed us is the uncomfortable ambiance of the movie house. It was so old that you can really smell the vintage seats. The movie screen was even kinda blurry but what matters most is that we get some laugh.

It was a long day for me, even if I have not accomplished so much of my work it seems like eternity. Thanks to my friends who were there to cheer me up.They are God sent angels in my life. Another day is yet to come and I should be ready.


Target buys at Fossil, a few minutes before we enter the movie house

from this to this to this....

In life, there are 2 constant things: God and change...
Na ah! Not change of hearts dear friends, but change of hairstyle..my crowning glory.

I have been known way back in my elementary and highschool days with a very long hair, I even bagged the longest hair in school once.. hahaha.. but through the course of time I want some new look. I 've tried the bangs ( you bet..hahaha)even dyeing my bangs white. The Venus cut at the end (jolina style...more hahaha), even hair cuts made by my very own lovable lola, which by the way very fashionable.

But after many many years, last year (2007) I finally decided to cut it quite short. You can browse through my past blogs how my dad convinced me to do the short hair. So then again, last Saturday night I go gaga again with my hair. This time, it's way way shorter than before. Check it out :

1. There I was before with very long hair (Photo taken August 2007)












2. Even when I felt like Rogue..those days ayt?  (May 2006)






















3. When I started to have a shorter hair - haircut by Jesse Mendez
(Photo taken Sept 2007)










(which was also experimented by David's Salon and Mary Pauline Salon)




4. Recently before I go gaga -
    by Menage Salon Trinoma - I really like having  my hair done at Menage. (Photo taken April 2008)

















5. And *drum roll*.. the new me..again! Haircut by: Essensuals Toni and Guy
This one I really love!
(Photo taken a few hours ago with Anne)
















I am ready for better days!