i'll see you again

 

 

I thank God for seeing you

in my dream last night.

10.26.05

I don't see you often but everytime i does it feels like heaven.

AMOUR

 

10.07.05.

Happy Birthday Ate Love.

Come Thirsty.

 

NO PLACE LIKE HOME

It’s good to be home.

 

Last weekend (9.25.05)I traveled home with my brother. The last time we visited my mom and my relatives was when we celebrated our barrio fiesta almost four months ago though our mom usually visits us in Manila.

 

We usually take a van and pays P125.00 for a one way trip, but on that weekend we decided to take the bus for P109.00. We bought two dozen of donuts at the station thinking to give simple joy to our cousins. The whole trip was not that long; it would only take around 1 and a half hour to reach our place – San Felipe, Cuenca, Batangas.

 

En route to our place, my brother and I talked about a lot of stuffs, a conversation we don’t usually do at our apartment. ( we usually,ooppss… I mean, I usually yell and nag at him about the things he do..tsk..tsk..tsk..bad sister!)

but it was great-the trip-i just wana to clear that, i believe we need those kind of moment most of the time.

 

We just realized we’ve already reached the town – Cuenca. So we went off the bus,bought 3 liters of soft drinks to partner with the donuts and rode a tricycle home.

 

I can’t wait to see my family. And I began to reminisce…

 

I have to admit that life is not treating them that well-my relatives. My mom is the eldest of five children. When I was still a  child I often ask myself why would all her siblings together with their family and children depend some of their needs to my mom. They even stayed home, they ate at home, etcetera …etcetera….they are  even saying to me that someday they hope that I would help them too, since I am the eldest grand daughter. Shhesshh…isn’t that tough?! But as I grew old I realized that somehow I have a responsibility to them since they are also my family.

 

This is my Mercado family. From my  mother’s maiden name of course. Being a Mercado is quite  far from being a Casuyon. I could still remember my uncles telling me to cut the hair of their children on their first birthday so that they may be like me in the future…hehehehe..that’s cool though. Then they will keep the hair on a book believing it could help their children to be studious when they grow up (just like me again according to them too- they gotta be kiddin’ me..) I spent almost 15 years of my life living at my hometown and they have witnessed how I grew up from that little b***h girl to what they say a full grown lady ( that is…arrggh..ever mind), perhaps who I am right now have been influenced by my family too. They usually sit on our garage and shared a bottle or two of what they call “gin” and talk about anything under the sun from politics to the attitude of my mom. I remember sitting with them, heard their jokes and memorized those lines so I could tell it in school the next day.Sometimes, I even help on the laundry and get a pail of water from our well and I hear my aunties talked about anything from embroidery or cooking to the once again attitude of my mom. That was then, good thing my mom changed for  better. You know what I mean…hehehe

 

Two years ago, my grandfather passed away because of a gastro intestinal disease. I believe if he was not drinking a lot of alcohol a day he would still be around and living happily with us. But that is how God wants it to be, that’s how He planned things for us. My Grandpa is an epitome of power, did I used the word right?yes power I guess. Power over us all, being someone we all look up to and respect. After he died, I realized how special my  family is. I even dreamed big for them. Sometimes I would tell my friends that I often hear people say that being a hero is helping our nation..indeed true, but I also realized how can I be a hero in our nation if I can’t be of any help with my own family – the basic unit of the society (there goes my soc sci..y. I am not trying to be a superwoman or someone to that extent, but I need to be someone to show them that life is still good and God  is there to be with them. God matters…but it’s not a so familiar topic in our home though they are all religious. A peculiar thing happened when my Grandmother and an uncle of mine together with his family converted to another religion – now they are Mormons. When I learned about it, I blamed myself but later on I realized it’s not that bad at all, perhaps it is where they found what they are looking for, we still respected them and we stayed as one family.

 

 I would be running out of time or spending the rest of my life looking back at the good and bad memories we all had together .But never will I forget loving my family. I am not just an spectator of their lives, I was with them and eventually one way or another became a main character at times. From experiencing anger, pain, compassion, love and forgiveness to name a few had been a topic in the family. One thing is for sure, that the Mercado clan will remain one and true to each other and makes God the center of our lives.

 

I payed P25.00 and we stepped out of the trycicle.

“ATE SWEET!!! KUYA TON-TON!!!” – a bunch of kids were shouting and chanting while jumping, they are my cousins. And my brother and I smiled. It’s like another fiesta when we’re home. I gave my cousins a kiss on the cheek and my Grandma – healthy as ever at 74- a“mano” same with my uncles and my aunties. We enjoyed the boxes of donuts and started telling stories we missed. Two of my cousin at sixth grade (Edmund and Princess Sarah) got a scholarship from a relative abroad and one of them wanted to be a nurse someday (I’ll wait if he’ll change his mind..hehehe), he topped a journal contest, science, spelling, oration etc. contest in school. Another cousin of mine, Nino, who got a 45 days scholarship in computer ranked 4 and at present working at the municipal hall of our town. Jeff, another cousin, stopped school when he was in elementary because he’s having this attacks of sudden cessation of all activities and just falls down, I learned it from school that he has a petit mal kind of epilepsy, but her mom happily told me that his attacks was now minimized and he can even survive a day without Tegretol –his maintenance medicine and we were all joyful about it and the stories goes on and on.

 

After the merienda we went to a near place, and found out that my auntie already bought a land and built a home after years of renting and sometimes staying with us. It really made me smile not because they won’t be staying in our home anymore but because I can see in her eyes the satisfaction and happiness she got when they finally have a place they can call their own.

 

Before the sun sets we returned home, well its only a few blocks away.

 

 

So much for a day, I thanked God for being so good to us and to my family. Our house can never be a home without the laughter my extended family brings. We may not have all the riches in the world, but I am proud to say we are rich in love with each other, that no matter what happen every time we look beside us there is a family who will be there and I’ll be very proud to introduce them to my friends and even to that someone I will have perhaps in the “far”future *blush*

 

 

I can’t wait for Christmas, even New Years and even birthdays in the family. There are a lot of things to look forward to. Lola is also turning 75 next year and it’s another big event I planned to celebrate to let her know how much she is being loved.

 

 With God’s help, I’ll help them reach their dreams.. somehow.

 

 But at that moment I cannot utter more….

 

“There’s no place like HOME.” And I closed my eyes and slept. Tomorrow, I will be heading back to Manila again.