can you keep a secret?

CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET?

Photo : Frank Warren's Post Secret "Confessions on Life, Death, and God"

MY SECRET POST ( which is no longer a secret now) : I waited for someone to give me this book as a gift. I'm tired of waiting so I bought one myself :)

Post Secret has touched and aided the lives of many people, perhaps including mine :)

PostSecret is a community art project where people release their secrets by anonymously mailing them on a homemade postcard. Frank Warren started PostSecret in November, 2004 and has since received thousands of secrets from all over the world.

It was even used on The All-American Rejects Video : Dirty Little Secret

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ikv7TI87io&feature=fvst

How about you? what's your secret?

Let's Cross Over

 October 26, 2009

If I were to choose a phrase that I often use in my posts, it would be: How fast time flies

Time and time again I would suddenly realize that a week, a month or even years have passed me by. But what is it that made me write again today? Aside from browsing my old posts, well let’s just say I got tired of putting the pen on paper (how do I translate that in cyberspace jargon?)  on bitterness and the likes. Rather, I wanna inspire and excite myself with what’s in store for me NOW and in the FUTURE.

Exactly a year ago, at the same time I’m writing this now ( 7:12AM), I was staring blankly and  allowing Loneliness swallow me into a super massive black hole. I started by letting the tears creep  down my cheeks then I advanced to loud sobbing and later on I became frantic that I thought I will die anytime because of the intolerable pain I’m experiencing. I know, or so thought I knew, that I will never ever in a 100 billion light years  be able to move on. EVERYTHING that is happening to me at that moment, the anguish, I know, will NEVER go away.

Fast forward a year later, here I am. A new woman, reborn and another year have just made me stronger, I guess. When I look back, I would just laugh at myself with all the drama antics I manifested to the universe.

In the past, I would question why it happened, of all people, to me.

Today, I’m grateful to experience such emotion.

In the past, I would think I wasted my time

Today, I’m grateful I offered myself time to love and to give

I haven’t seen the NEW rainbow yet, but I’m pretty much sure I will

A year has passed, and now I’m experiencing the best thrilling wave of love. Oh yes, from my family and friends. On with the journey…on with finding small and big everyday happyness!

How fast time flies, indeed. Make the most out of it.

Now, for you my friend, if you’ve also been  through  a painful past regardless the intensity… I invite you…Attraversiamo*! 

*Attraversiamo is the Italian word for “let’s cross over” , inspired from reading Eat, Pray, Love 

Let's Cross Over

If I were to choose a phrase that I often use in my posts, it would be: How fast time flies

Time and time again I would suddenly realize that a week, a month or even years have passed me by. But what is it that made me write again today? Aside from browsing my old posts, well let’s just say I got tired of putting the pen on paper (how do I translate that in cyberspace jargon?)  on bitterness and the likes. Rather, I wanna inspire and excite myself with what’s in store for me NOW and in the FUTURE.

Exactly a year ago, at the same time I’m writing this now ( 7:12AM), I was staring blankly and  allowing Loneliness swallow me into a super massive black hole. I started by letting the tears creep  down my cheeks then I advanced to loud sobbing and later on I became frantic that I thought I will die anytime because of the intolerable pain I’m experiencing. I know, or so thought I knew, that I will never ever in a 100 billion light years  be able to move on. EVERYTHING that is happening to me at that moment, the anguish, I know, will NEVER go away.

Fast forward a year later, here I am. A new woman, reborn and another year have just made me stronger, I guess. When I look back, I would just laugh at myself with all the drama antics I manifested to the universe.  

In the past, I would question why it happened, of all people, to me.

Today, I’m grateful to experience such emotion.

In the past, I would think I wasted my time

Today, I’m grateful I offered myself time to love and to give

I haven’t seen the NEW rainbow yet, but I’m pretty much sure I will

A year has passed, and now I’m experiencing the best thrilling wave of love. Oh yes, from my family and friends. On with the journey…on with finding small and big everyday happyness!

How fast time flies, indeed. Make the most out of it.

Now, for you my friend, if you’ve also been  through  a painful past regardless the intensity… I invite you…Attraversiamo*! 

*Attraversiamo is the Italian word for “let’s cross over” , inspired from reading Eat, Pray, Love 

have you seen my friend?

Have you seen Happyness?
I think he ran out from the back door
I’m sure he’s gonna be back and bring me marshmallows
But it seems he lost his way home

Have you seen Happyness?
I think he bumped his head somewhere and got amnesia
I’m sure he’s gonna be back and take me to a hot air balloon ride
But it seems he lost his way home

Have you seen Happyness?
I think he totally forgot about me
I never heard from him ever again…

Then I looked around
I found a note and it said:
Dear Sweet,
I’m always home, look into your heart
You will find me in the depths of your soul

-Happyness

Have you seen it?

Have you seen Happyness?
I think he ran out from the back door
I’m sure he’s gonna be back and bring me marshmallows
But it seems he lost his way home

Have you seen Happyness?
I think he bumped his head somewhere and got amnesia
I’m sure he’s gonna be back and take me to a hot air balloon ride
But it seems he lost his way home

Have you seen Happyness?
I think he totally forgot about me
I never heard from him ever again…

Then I looked around
I found a note and it said:
Dear Sweet,
I’m always home, look into your heart
You will find me in the depths of your soul
-Happyness

another Filipino Hero

dear ondoy

Sept. 26, 2009 10:00AM

Masakit man sa loob kong manatili sa loob ng pamamahay, wala akong magawa sa hagupit na iyong dulot. Hinahayaan ko na lamang magmuni-muni ng nakaraan habang pinapanood ko ang galit mo. Hinahayaan ko na lamang kumalam ang sikmura sa di mo paghintulot na lumabas ako sa kawalan. Pero Ondoy....

Kahit paano'y aking naalala ang aking kabataan ng ako'y masayang naliligo sa gitna ng malakas na ulan. Tila ba isa iyong bawat patak ay nanumbalik ang kaligayang natatamo noong panahong wala pa akong problema kundi paano mananalo sa patentero o di kaya'y magwawagi sa chinese garter or jackstone.

Gustuhin ko mang itulog ang nalalabing oras ng araw ay hindi maari, nabalitaan ko na ang hagupit mo sa ibang lugar dito sa kamaynilaan :( at nakakalungkot na madaming naapektuhan, nagugutom, binabaha o di kaya nama'y nagbubuwis ng buhay

Ito na ba ang ganti ng kalikasan? Bata pa lang ako itinuturo na sa aming paaralan ang wastong pagtapon ng basura, ang masamang epekto ng pagputol ng mga puno sa kabundukan at nitong mga huli ay ang sinasabi nilang "global warming" ...madami pang iba pero sa dulo ng lahat iisa lamang ang dahilan.. ang pang aabuso sa inang kalikasan. Naalala ko pa ang mga cartolina na aking ginuguhitan at kinukulayan, mga larawan ng mundo at mga batang nag hahawak kamay, kalapating may tangay na berdeng dahon, o di kaya naman ay ang mga makabagbagdamdaming mga linya na nanghihimok na alagaan ang kalikasan.

Madaming taon na ang lumipas, naging "classic" na ang Shaider at Bioman, pati bandang Eraserheads ay bahagi na lamang ng nakaraan ngunit hindi pa din nagigising ang tao sa katotohanan na ibang magalit ang Inang Kalikasan.

Sana tama na Ondoy, itigil mo na ang pag-ulan dahil madami ng naapektuhan...

Ondoy's wrath courtesy of Pag-asa DOST

 

Little Wonders to forgive?

My mom is here in Manila and whenever she's around she'll make sure everything is spic and span. Thanks mom! =) Anyway, I found some of the VCDs I bought a few months back from a certain sale in Trinoma piled neatly on one side of my closet. I grabbed one of my fave, Meet the Robinsons ( 2007 ) and I was reminded of one song that makes me smile and transforms me on an emo mode ( slight lang).. We need to appreciate the Little Wonders around us.

Just this morning, I almost had a mild stroke ( figuratively) when the memory of my dream last night snapped into my brain cells. You know that thing when you forget what you dreamt about then suddenly remembers it at the most peculiar moment? hahaha..It was a loonnnggg dramatic, emotional dream.. hahaha.. something about forgiving someone (at first i thought it was a nightmare though...) *sigh* is it time? is it a message from Papa?I would always say that " yeah, yeah I really really forgave him na" but at the depths of my soul, really nga ba? hmm how would you know if you really forgave someone na, yung tipong wala ng bitterness, wala ng *ouch*.. I think I just did a long time ago but I wanna make sure = )


Anyway, so much for the drama.. here goes the song lyrics :)

Little Wonders
Rob Thomas

Let it go
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in
Let your clarity define you
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours
These small hours
Still remain

Let it slide
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine,
Till you feel it all around you
And I don't mind
If it's me you need to turn to
We'll get by
It's the heart that really matters in the end

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These small hours
Still remain

All of my regret
Will wash away somehow
But I cannot forget
the way I feel right now

In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Yeah, these twisted turns of fate
Time falls away
Yeah, but these small hours,
These small hours
Still remain

Yeah, oh they still remain
These little wonders
All these twists and turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These little wonders
Still remain

Little Wonders to forgive?

My mom is here in Manila and whenever she's around she'll make sure everything is spic and span. Thanks mom! =) Anyway, I found some of the VCDs I bought a few months back from a certain sale in Trinoma piled neatly on one side of my closet. I grabbed one of my fave, Meet the Robinsons ( 2007 ) and I was reminded of one song that makes me smile and transforms me on an emo mode ( slight lang).. We need to appreciate the Little Wonders around us.

Just this morning, I almost had a mild stroke ( figuratively) when the memory of my dream last night snapped into my brain cells. You know that thing when you forget what you dreamt about then suddenly remembers it at the most peculiar moment? hahaha..It was a loonnnggg dramatic, emotional dream.. hahaha.. something about forgiving someone (at first i thought it was a nightmare though...) *sigh* is it time? is it a message from Papa?I would always say that " yeah, yeah I really really forgave him na" but at the depths of my soul, really nga ba? hmm how would you know if you really forgave someone na, yung tipong wala ng bitterness, wala ng *ouch*.. I think I just did a long time ago but I wanna make sure = )


Anyway, so much for the drama.. here goes the song lyrics :)

Little Wonders
Rob Thomas

Let it go
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in
Let your clarity define you
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours
These small hours
Still remain

Let it slide
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine,
Till you feel it all around you
And I don't mind
If it's me you need to turn to
We'll get by
It's the heart that really matters in the end

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These small hours
Still remain

All of my regret
Will wash away somehow
But I cannot forget
the way I feel right now

In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Yeah, these twisted turns of fate
Time falls away
Yeah, but these small hours,
These small hours
Still remain

Yeah, oh they still remain
These little wonders
All these twists and turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These little wonders
Still remain

tsinelas

What the mind conceive.. my flip-flops will achieve

As I was strolling down in Ortigas this evening, I was suddenly reminded of my brown Havainas and never expected what had happened next...

Flashback : While we were practicing the night before Ford and May's wedding , my right flip-flop's strap was cut :_( Thanks to a nice waiter who temporarily fixed it.

When I went back to Manila, I was never reminded to buy a new pair but continue to use the old one for another week.

And it happened this evening at around 8:00PM, I suddenly told myself while walking " What if my flip-flops' strap really collapse this time"?

Yes you're right.. *tick* and the strap separated itself from my flops! Good thing I was about to ride an FX. I replaced the flip-flops with my Aerosole office shoes, the sad part..I got to walk home in high heels. ( I need a massage!)

I can see you...

Two weeks ago, 6:00 AM:

I’m trying to open my eyes but the sunlight hurts my eyes. I knew what it was… I knew this would eventually happen… I got eye infection coz of sleeping with my contacts on.:(

Today, I decided to drop by SM North to have my eyes checked again for any remnants of keratitis. I will be at the Success Seminar at the World Trade this weekend and I wanted to have my contact lens back in the game . My doctor was not around so I just set an appointed with Dr. Mario Reyes.

I greeted him with a smile as I entered his clinic, oh! He looks like my Dad  Anyway, I told him the history of my condition ( that I slept with my contacts on- ladies and gents.. that’s a NO NO!- for maybe two times in just a week) . So he had my chin placed on an eye microscope.

Doc Mario : “ Hmm, ok.. I think your eyes are good already.. blah..blah.. yada yada.. ..”

Yipee! I ‘m healed! I can now see, and I can wear my contacts this starting this weekend!

Dr. Mario also checked my pink glasses and instructed his secretary to further observe my eyes in the Perimetry room. He found out that I’m using a wrong grade of eyeglasses and contacts. It’s supposed to be 125( L) and 150 (R). I was advised to change the lenses and buy a new pair of contacts. Whether it’s a marketing strategy ( hahaha) or simply a recommendation from a doctor, I’m willing to replace it. And so I did…
Life can be the same… we may be in a journey taking a wrong path but we refuse to check if it is the same path God wants us to be but then we have to realize that God should take the wheel, He should be our map to the treasure. Sometimes, we needed to get hurt, suffer from physical, spiritual or emotional illness just like my keratitis, to realize which way to go. Once we knew it, it is insane to continue the wrong path… turn back and seek the right trail… with God. :)

Smiley

There are days that I'm kinda sad.. but there are also days when I’m uber HAPPY! Today, September 15, 2009 is one of those days and yes, without any particular reason. I was in the mood and was smiling most of the time. I walked on high heels around Ortigas but it was ok, it was a hot afternoon but I managed to crack jokes, I was just staring at the horizon ( foggy ,if I may say) but I get to feel the humid on my face!
Hmm.. ano kayang meron? Was it because of the bright and colorful top I wore today or the new friendships I built or perhaps just being thankful for all the things, good or bad, that happened to me? Buti na lang minsan nasasaktan, kase sobrang saya naman pag pinalitan. Before I stroll my way home I made sure to visit Papa Jesus at the chapel and prayed hard ( both forgiveness and thanksgiving) then I ended it with a request of blessings. May I feel more joy in the days to come 
I decided to ride the bus, closed my eyes and ayun lumampas ako sa North Avenue, Munoz na pag-gisingko, tama ba yun?! Hahaha.. buti na lang masaya ako :)

someone to make me cry

The hard thing of being "alone"? I tend to think about the future. I have a very sensitive lachrymal glands, I cry over petty things like when I'm watching a romantic/drama movie. Sometimes I cry when I'm so angry or too depressed. I can't even count the number of times I cried over a heartbreak. Sometimes it becomes too tiring.

But I can't wait for that day when someone will make me cry.. real hard that I would almost breakdown. That day, I'll cry so hard that I'll just utter thanks to God.. because on that day...

I'll be saying yes to my one true love, he whom I've been waiting for. My kismet, the blessing I have prayed for each and every day.

That day will be full of tears of Happyness.. and a start of forever. = )

One day..soon.

what's next?

*Sigh* ang tagal ko na palang hindi nakakapagblog =( It's 1:28 in the morning but here I am typing random thoughts. I don't know if it was a happy or sad day for me, that's why I don't wanna be left alone wondering about things since there are many ( too many) reasons to laugh and even to cry for.

I was on my way to Tagaytay this morning and to ease the boredom I took out my Ipod. Of course, as the bus strolls in the towns of Cavite, movie-like moments begin to fill my head and so I closed my eyes and thought about the things that really makes me happy. I wanted to do too many things, I had to admit.. I don't know how to FOCUS! That should be a good start, try to FOCUS on the most important things first, maybe I will be able to find the happiness I'm looking for.

And so I almost cried ( while on a bus going to tagaytay!?, maybe not an appropriate moment to unleash the tears but it was a perfect moment for me to be true to myself.

Did I make any sense? So what really is next.. I have to find out!

Seven Pounds of Tears

1:36 AM April 2nd

I just wiped the last few drop of tears in my eyes. I missed crying, if I may say, the last time I cried was a couple of months ago. Today, it was after finishing the last minute of the unabashedly emotional movie SEVEN POUNDS. “One hell of a cry for me really!” is how I can describe it. In between sobs I would gasped for air, inhale slowly and I would make a sigh sound afterwards. I just realized how a simple teardrop could mean a LOT of things. Whether we were broken, sad, happy, excited, robbed, victorious, scared, clueless or even just simply affected by an emotional movie… it all let our lacrimal glands produce the tears. It may just differ in amount or in what emotion we are feeling at the time it was created but then again it is still called TEARS and I am grateful that God was really really smart to give us this outlet to express how we feel. Can you imagine if we don’t cry if we get hurt or when we are extra happy? I don’t think it would ever be the same again. J

Anyway, regarding the movie, I have always been a fan of Will Smith and I badly wanted to see his latest film – SEVEN POUNDS. Unfortunately, no one was kind enough to accompany me (I haven’t encourage anyone though to be with me..hahaha) so I delayed my schedule of watching it and decided to do more important things. This afternoon, I just saw a copy of it and finally grabbed one. I was too sleepy to open my laptop when I arrived home from a long meeting in Casa Armas, but I remembered I need some more motivation for the week! The next two hours have been worthwhile and I didn’t even expect to cry a lot today ha!

Lesson learned: I made mistakes in the past and some people might have even done worst things to me. At the end of the road, we all seek emancipation. FREEDOM is important for me. I will ask forgiveness if I have to even how hard it could get and I can forgive even how bad it could hurt. Right time and right heart… that is all I need. In this lifetime, If someone asked me how many lives I have touched? I might be clueless, but surely I will answer “not enough yet”, and life will continue. If you haven’t started, BEGIN NOW.

Barbie's 50th Birthday

Happy 50th Birthday Barbie!

Who doesn't know Barbie? Girls from all ages and even boys heard about her. Her classic beauty, career and lifestyle. I even had few of my own Barbie collection. I even remembered declaring when I was a little kid that when I become super ultra rich, I will have my very own fantastic and numerous collection of Barbie dolls. Well, some things really change and some dreams even fade away. I would still want to buy a few Barbies but I already deleted the idea of having my Barbie museum all together. If there is Barbie, who can forget Ken :)





It's been 50 years, and Barbie really evolved, have you seen the first Barbie dolls produced? It seemed that stripes swim wear was a hit!






According to my readings, her name was adopted from the name Barbara ( the daughter of Ruth Handler - one of the brilliant mind behind Barbie) Anyway, have you ever imagined if Barbie's face aged also? Who would want to buy that? ( Barbie enthusiast maybe) I saw this picture on the net and it was hilarious :






To learn more about Barbie, click here.

I always had that illusive dream of becoming a Princess or becoming like Barbie. Obviously, I am way far from being one.. hahaha..( that's a relief) I think she has Multiple Identity Disorder ( more hahaha..) I just have few...:)

Oh well, so much for the little history and drama...Happy Birthday Barbie and cheers to all the ladies who once inspired to be a "Barbie" on her own rights!

Barbie's 50th Birthday

Happy 50th Birthday Barbie!

Who doesn't know Barbie? Girls from all ages and even boys heard about her. Her classic beauty, career and lifestyle. I even had few of my own Barbie collection. I even remembered declaring when I was a little kid that when I become super ultra rich, I will have my very own fantastic and numerous collection of Barbie dolls. Well, some things really change and some dreams even fade away. I would still want to buy a few Barbies but I already deleted the idea of having my Barbie museum all together. If there is Barbie, who can forget Ken :)





It's been 50 years, and Barbie really evolved, have you seen the first Barbie dolls produced? It seemed that stripes swim wear was a hit!






According to my readings, her name was adopted from the name Barbara ( the daughter of Ruth Handler - one of the brilliant mind behind Barbie) Anyway, have you ever imagined if Barbie's face aged also? Who would want to buy that? ( Barbie enthusiast maybe) I saw this picture on the net and it was hilarious :






To learn more about Barbie, click here.

I always had that illusive dream of becoming a Princess or becoming like Barbie. Obviously, I am way far from being one.. hahaha..( that's a relief) I think she has Multiple Identity Disorder ( more hahaha..) I just have few...:)

Oh well, so much for the little history and drama...Happy Birthday Barbie and cheers to all the ladies who once inspired to be a "Barbie" on her own rights!

the whatevers of today

I missed bloggin aside from the fact that multiply and FB were already blocked by our IT guru at the office,  I also  have to make a decision and  prioritize more important things for now. I didn't had the  chance to post my Bday Blog ( deng I'm 27?!) and the rest of the things that followed after that.

It is March already and I can't believe it was three months after New Year, 5 months after my last and definitely last heartbreak ( hahaha) and 27 years since I was born... time seems to move very fast.

Then again I asked myself what difference did I made? Time and time again, we don't have to be reminded that life is short and we have to live it as if today is the last.Sorry I was gettin emotional now..actually I was just urged to write this simple blog after I heard the news about Francis Magalona's succumb to cancer broke this noon

PEACE OUT to Francis M - The Man from Manila

the whatevers of today

I missed bloggin aside from the fact that multiply and FB were already blocked by our IT guru at the office, I also have to make a decision and prioritize more important things for now. I didn't had the chance to post my Bday Blog ( deng I'm 27?!) and the rest of the things that followed after that.

It is March already and I can't believe it was three months after New Year, 5 months after my last and definitely last heartbreak ( hahaha) and 27 years since I was born... time seems to move very fast.

Then again I asked myself what difference did I made? Time and time again, we don't have to be reminded that life is short and we have to live it as if today is the last.Sorry I was gettin emotional now..actually I was just urged to write this simple blog after I heard the news about Francis Magalona's succumb to cancer broke this noon

PEACE OUT to Francis M - The Man from Manila

it's gonna be a bright...bright sun shiny day

I woke up from a nice dream :) hihihi..I can't believe I dreamed about him. ( hmm hmm hmm) and that resulted to a better day! Today is really brighter for me and for my EYES. Yes, my brown eyes ( hahaha) coz I just got my clear contacts from Doc Anne, our company's ophthalmologist. I never thought I'll be wearing eyes glasses nor contacts at the age of 26. Last year, I started to wonder why PowerPoint presentations looked blurred on the LCD screens,thought it was the pre-loved projector but then I observed that even far billboards also manifested the same blurriness. I then knew that it was my eyes, I no longer has the 20/20 vision... waaahhh! Since I am nearsighted , I just purchased my pink eyeglasses to use it when I am on the field. I don't want to have contact lenses for the reason of being clumsy. I might just scrub it off unconsciously or I'll be having a hard time placing it in my delicate eyes. Blame it to badminton, I was "forced" to purchase my first contact lens. *sigh* I was advised to wear it for 2 hours earlier today, then 4 hours tomorrow, 8 hours the next day and so on and so forth until my eyes get used to the foreign body that lies in it. After I put on the contacts, uhmm, it's not that bad... it was, yeah, more comfortable and I can play badminton at last! :)

it's gonna be a bright...bright sun shiny day

I woke up from a nice dream :) hihihi..I can't believe I dreamed about him. ( hmm hmm hmm) and that resulted to a better day! Today is really brighter for me and for my EYES. Yes, my brown eyes ( hahaha) coz I just got my clear contacts from Doc Anne, our company's ophthalmologist. I never thought I'll be wearing eyes glasses nor contacts at the age of 26. Last year, I started to wonder why PowerPoint presentations looked blurred on the LCD screens,thought it was the pre-loved projector but then I observed that even far billboards also manifested the same blurriness. I then knew that it was my eyes, I no longer has the 20/20 vision... waaahhh! Since I am nearsighted , I just purchased my pink eyeglasses to use it when I am on the field. I don't want to have contact lenses for the reason of being clumsy. I might just scrub it off unconsciously or I'll be having a hard time placing it in my delicate eyes. Blame it to badminton, I was "forced" to purchase my first contact lens. *sigh* I was advised to wear it for 2 hours earlier today, then 4 hours tomorrow, 8 hours the next day and so on and so forth until my eyes get used to the foreign body that lies in it. After I put  on the contacts, uhmm, it's not that bad... it was, yeah, more comfortable and yipee I can play badminton at last! :)

Bitter?

January 21, 2009

Dear Maurelle,

Refuse to be bitter. It’s a poison that you don’t want even a single drop
in your life. If someone has betrayed you, pity them and wish them the
best. You move on.

Your Encourager,
God

P.S. Forgiveness is one of the greatest things I’ve ever invented,
maurelle . Use it often.

Bitter?

January 21, 2009

Dear Maurelle,

Refuse to be bitter. It’s a poison that you don’t want even a single drop
in your life. If someone has betrayed you, pity them and wish them the
best. You move on.

Your Encourager,
God

P.S. Forgiveness is one of the greatest things I’ve ever invented,
maurelle . Use it often.

I know you know this song....

Last weekend, I've been to a leadership boot camp that changed my life. It is one fantastic event even if I missed few parts of it, I was bold enough to travel alone just to be on that event because I know it is something worth attending.

To make it short, I rediscovered myself, I met wonderful people, I shouted at the top of my lungs, clapped my hands and even stood up to appreciate other people who decided to succeed. But simple things would really give us great message at times...who would have thought this song will be sang? It was like a high school tune that amateur contestants sing on competitions, but it made a lot of difference at the night of the camp. Its message made a big impact...I know you know this song, you might even sang it in your head before..for all who Dream... this is for us!

ONE MOMENT IN TIME
Whitney Houston

Each day I live I want to be
A day to give The best of me
I'm only one But not alone
My finest day Is yet unknown

I broke my heart For every gain
To taste the sweet I faced the pain
I rise and fall Yet through it all
This much remains

Chorus:
I want one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams Are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
Whem I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment in time
I will feel, I will feel eternity

I've lived to be
The very best I want it all
No time for less I've laid my plans
Now lay the chance Here in my hands



You're a winner
For a lifetime If you seize that
One moment in time Make it shine



Then in that one moment in time
I will be, I will be free

I know you know this song

Last weekend, I’ve been to a leadership boot camp that changed my life. It was one fantastic event even if I missed few parts of it, I was bold enough to travel alone just to be on that event because I know it is something worth attending. To make it short, I rediscovered myself, I met wonderful people, I shouted at the top of my lungs, clapped my hands and even stood up to appreciate other people who decided to succeed. But simple things would really give us great message at times…who would have thought this song will be sang? It was like a high school tune that amateur contestants sing on competitions, but it made a lot of difference at the night of the camp. Its message made a big impact…I know you know this song, you might even sang it in your head before..for all who Dream… this is for us!

ONE MOMENT IN TIME
Whitney Houston

Each day I live I want to be
A day to give The best of me
I’m only one But not alone
My finest day Is yet unknown

I broke my heart For every gain
To taste the sweet I faced the pain
I rise and fall Yet through it all
This much remains

Chorus:
I want one moment in time
When I’m more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams Are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
Whem I’m racing with destiny
Then in that one moment in time
I will feel, I will feel eternity

I’ve lived to be
The very best I want it all
No time for less I’ve laid my plans
Now lay the chance Here in my hands

You’re a winner
For a lifetime If you seize that
One moment in time Make it shine

Then in that one moment in time
I will be, I will be free

"highlights in my hair" - the feekchur

Since many of  my friends thought my last blog would have a picture of my newest haircut... I finally had a picture this evening..hehehe...

THE SHORTEST HAIR CUT I EVER HAD ...( oh and with the highlights too)

For my previous post :

http://gorgeousweet.multiply.com/journal/item/164/highlights_in_my_hair


You can also check out my past hair trips :

http://gorgeousweet.multiply.com/journal/item/136/from_this_to_this_to_this....

"highlights in my hair" - the feekchur

Since many of my friends thought my last blog would have a picture of my newest haircut... I finally had a picture this evening..hehehe...

THE SHORTEST HAIR CUT I EVER HAD ...( oh and with the highlights too)

For my previous post :

http://gorgeousweet.multiply.com/journal/item/164/highlights_in_my_hair


You can also check out my past hair trips :

http://gorgeousweet.multiply.com/journal/item/136/from_this_to_this_to_this....

details in the fabric

At my pink and green desk

1300H

I really love listening to music and I know it is a gift from God. It is an instrument we can all turn to in times that we are happy, sad, emotional, hopeless romantic and even feeling bored( that's even the reason why I became VERY impulsive in buying my nanochromatic Ipod Nano after i lost my 30 GB ipod..huhuhu). I posted quite a number of songs already on my blogs and today will be just like any other "music" day. I am here at the office,in front of my pink and green desk, first day of work and first week of 2009 and I opened my music player, chose an album to play and Jason Mraz was first on my list so I dragged his We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things album to my player. After a few songs like Lucky and I'm Yours, the third song caught my attention. I thought I heard Jason sang " If you have a broken heart, replace it" .. and I reacted "huh?" so I rewind the track and listened very carefully, I even searched for the lyrics and this is what i found out: the lyrics...

Song Title : Details in the Fabric

Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling on your threads and
Breaking yourself up

If it's a broken part, replace it
If it’s a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it

And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything will be fine

Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I'm doing everything

Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything
Everything will be fine
Everything

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?

Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing.

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Everything

Hold your own
Know your name
Go your own way

Hold your own
Know your name
Go your own way.

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine?
Are the things that make you blow
Hell no reason go on and scream
If you’re shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold


---


When I was kid ( and even now) our elders would tell us to use our eyes and not our mouth when we are looking for something. I used to do that, the mouth-thing and sometimes I even panic when things do not turn out the way I planned or if I was caught between a situation I never expected to happen. Sometimes, I just want to break and loose myself but I know I wont and I will never do that just because of a broken heart. Better face it, endure it then detach from it and move on. :)

highlights in my hair

I just came home from the salon a few hours ago. Here I go again, my stress buster… another haircut ( a very short haircut) and should I say worse (?) because I even allowed the "color technician" to put some highlights on my crowning glory. I did have a "rogue" moment before but never the serious highlights. Why was is called highlights anyway, to emphasize your hair style? But yeah, it was something new, something out of the ordinary. Just so I thought I always wanted to be the “extra” ordinary woman.

I was suppose to sleep early today ( so I can finally execute my gym plan tomorrow that failed today) but I can’t help but log in to the internet world again. While I was checking some stuff, my phone rang and it was my Dad. We never had the chance to talk last New Year though we spent almost an hour last Christmas over the phone. Our conversation started with the basics, then he asked how I am doing right now ( I know he meant my heart) and I said “ I am good” and I told him the “NR” story of my crush and so on. At the middle of our conversation, he mentioned about the nursing thing again (or I did hear my stepmom mentioned it to him to ask me about it) and that’s where my mood changed.

For those who don’t know me, I graduated as a Biologist because I thought I wanted to be a doctor. During those times, I have witnessed how aspiring doctors would study hard, spend much time at the hospital, study hard, go on duty even on holidays and did I say study hard?( No offense to my doctor friends ok? Its just my point of view) Well, it was that year 2003 that I realized or thought that being a doctor is not for me (should I blame it to my alma mater or to my high school classmates who influenced me?hmmm) December before I graduated from college I announced to my batch mates that I will no longer pursue my Medicine but instead take another course (I am kinda studious that days… hahaha) I even got a kick in the teeth when I found out that I graduated with a “laude” on my name but that did not stop me from breaking the “norm”. I thought about my next course, I even planned to take up Comm Arts or MassCom maybe since that's where I was inclined to but my Dad said it was not financially rewarding so there was I, so scared of ending up as a teacher ( also a very noble profession, but I would rather teach kindergarten pupils or the SAGIP kids than dealing with some stubborn college students coz I am stubborn myself..hehehe) so I took up Nursing. Hey, who’s not taking that course nowadays? I was even one of them. Three years, I studied and loved my course and I was imagining the paychecks abroad, the big house, the BMWs, the easy (?) life my course promised every hopeful student nurse while feeding a dying patient through an NGT. But I was lead to a different road, let’s just say the road less traveled. I kept on telling myself that I was brought to nursing perhaps to really help other people (that’s what little Ms. Philippines contestants used to say). I took the board, passed, leakage issue came out, I was even interviewed on TV (hahaha), got a job (not as a nurse), took the board again for the sake of clearing my name and passed again but up to this moment, never did I practiced my profession ever! Today, I am on the marketing field, a wedding host (which I enjoy the most), and an entrepreneur!

Have you ever asked yourself what you really wanted to be? Imagined what is it like or where will you be in the future? What about your sole purpose in life? I did asked and the picture is getting clearer and clearer but I still need some time to finalize my mental notes. But these I know, I want to do what I am passionate about. I want lit up the lives of every human being I encounter, I want to serve the poor in my own way, expound my talents and leverage from it. I wanted to develop my business and inspire people, give my family a more comfortable life and I want to have my own wonderful family in the near future (calling the groom to be..where are you?!) Just few of the things I wanted and one day I want these to be summarized in one great purpose in life.

And so back to my conversation with my Dad, when he asked me about my plans and insisting that I should take the exams I was diffident with my answer…” I’ll think about it Dad” is all I blurted out. It didn’t make him happy, he concluded that I don’t wanna be with him and that made me sad, I don’t wanna give him false statements, nor don’t want to break his heart. God knows I wanted to spend more time with my Dad in the past 26 years of my life and even dying to be with them everyday but having a decision about moving abroad, practicing nursing and leaving what I am passionate about is something I do not consider now. Hey, a US vacation or tour is not bad butI see myself here, in our humble land; this is where I will be wealthy not only financially but in all aspect of my life.

I do not want to go with flow of the river but I wanted to be just like a flowing river: deep, abundant and full of life. I know I hurt my Dad with what I said about thinking “it” over ( that’s the time a tear dropped from my eye) and I understand him for that but I know he also values my perspective and he is 100% supportive with what I wanted in life, just like my Mom. I am thankful to both of them , even though their love story doesn’t have a happy ending, I was more than glad that they raised me into what I am right now. A woman determined to succeed and be “extra” ordinary.

So I will leave you ( ladies) again with an excerpt from a song by India Arie:

“Now we're moving from the darkness into the light
This is the defining moment of our lives

'Cause you're beautiful like a flower
More valuable than a diamond
You are powerful like a fire
You can heal the world with your mind

There is nothing in the world that you cannot do
When you believe in you, who are beautiful
Yeah, you, who are brilliant
Yeah, you, who are powerful
Yeah, you, who are resilient”

It’s entitled Beautiful Flower. I encourage you to be one.

Living with Passion,

Sweet

details in the fabric

At my pink and green desk

1300H

I really love listening to music and I know it is a gift from God. It is an instrument we can all turn to in times that we are happy, sad, emotional, hopeless romantic and even feeling bored( that's even the reason why I became VERY impulsive in buying my nanochromatic Ipod Nano after i lost my 30 GB ipod..huhuhu). I posted quite a number of songs already on my blogs and today will be just like any other "music" day. I am here at the office,in front of my pink and green desk, first day of work and first week of 2009 and I opened my music player, chose an album to play and Jason Mraz was first on my list so I dragged his We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things album to my player. After a few songs like Lucky and I'm Yours, the third song caught my attention. I thought I heard Jason sang " If you have a broken heart, replace it" .. and I reacted "huh?" so I rewind the track and listened very carefully, I even searched for the lyrics and this is what i found out: 

Song Title : Details in the Fabric

Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling on your threads and
Breaking yourself up

If it's a broken part, replace it
If it’s a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it

And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything will be fine

Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I'm doing everything

Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything
Everything will be fine
Everything

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?

Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing.

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Everything

Hold your own
Know your name
Go your own way

Hold your own
Know your name
Go your own way.

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine?
Are the things that make you blow
Hell no reason go on and scream
If you’re shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold


---


When I was kid ( and even now) our elders would tell us to use our eyes and not our mouth when we are looking for something. I used to do that, the mouth-thing and sometimes I even panic when things do not turn out the way I planned or if I was caught between a situation I never expected to happen. Sometimes, I just want to break and lose myself somehow but I know I wont and I will never do that just because of a broken heart. Better face it, endure it then detach from it and move on. :)

Where is he?

Talk about creating a website dedicated to your one true love...I can't believe I did that. I find it "baduy" but it was what I am feelin' yesterday when I created it ( both the baduy and urgency feeling to create such site..hahaha) I will leave that site anonymous for now but here is my first letter to my one true love: ( please don't laugh..)

To  my Kismet,
 
Can I call you "Baby"?  It is simple but very romantic ( I think)

I will dedicate this site for you, while of course waiting for your arrival very soon.
I had been to a painful relationship last year (2008), I thought he was you but I was wrong. He cheated while I was busy being faithful to him.  I had to get through that crisis  and I am glad I am doing great in coping now and ready to find the real you again, just like I did on different men that pretended to be you but walked away. I am also thankful that God let it all happen, even if I was hurt I know it was for the best because I may not be able to find you if I was stuck on that relationship. A relationship I was trying to work out alone, I never followed my instincts even my superstitions, just my crazy heart and do not often listened to God's messages.

You know, it scares me… how would I know that it will be  you already?  I pray that it will be you…and I am asking for God's help for me to  discern well. I made this section just for you and I shall show this to you on the day we will say our vows to each other and spend the rest of our lives together, telling you I have waited for you all my life.
 
Today, January 1, 2009. I will again start my search for you. I may have met you in the past or I will be meeting you soon enough, I do not care.  It might be a long and winding road but I know I will find you and I hope you will find me too and know that it is me you are looking for.
 
So God Help us
 
Its me,
Your kismet

2-0-0-8

2008. It has been a year, colorful even with shades of black and grey. A year I will never forget, just like the last 25 years of my life. I am still searching for the pot of happiness at the end of the rainbow and I believe it will always be a nonstop journey. There are a lot of wonderful memories this year in spite the painful recollections that I will fortunately leave behind.

My health, I welcomed 2008 with a news that I have Levo ( left) scoliosis, I decided to have a check up since I am having this throbbing back pain for days already. Dancing has always been a passion of mine since I was a kid and never did I think I’ll be diagnosed with this condition. I am still thankful that it’s only a 10 degree angle scolio so I just had a few therapy sessions and the pain was gone temporarily. I was also forced to wear eye glass from time to time since my vision is no longer 20/20, I already have myopia (nearsightedness). I am still thankful to witness the wonderful creations of God, the sunset and the hopeful sunrise, the smiling moon and stars and even the people I love. I was also diagnosed to have an ovarian cyst but good thing it disappeared after a month of drug treatment.

My work, even if I passed the nursing board exam again last February after the awful 2006 leakage issue and thanked God that even if I just reviewed every after office hours at, where else, Starbucks, I never pursued that career. I continued to work in the Marketing field, I never had the formal education but it served as a challenge for me and God is so good I was even promoted this year. Aside from that, my hosting passion also flourished and I met a lot of wonderful couples that inspires me to accept as true that an ever after is still around the corner. Late 2008, I had a firm decision to continue my business since I know that there is no other way but for me to be an entrepreneur, if I really wanted to have the freedom of time and money ( of course) I ALWAYS wanted to have.

It was also a year of travel for me! It was very impractical to spend my HARD earned money if I will dedicate it to travelling alone(as early as now) so that’s why I am thankful that I get to visit Singapore, Cebu, Iloilo, Palawan, Tacloban, Vigan, Quezon, Occidental and Oriental Mindoro and Bolinao whether it is for business or pleasure. I enjoyed the adventure most especially when I am travelling alone. It gives me that sense of freedom even for a while. The weird part is that every time I ride the plane, seeing the puffy clouds, the crystal blue water, the green mountains and even the Manila skyline makes me ecstatic! I am hopeful that I will get to see Barcelona this February ( I need a miracle) and Singapore again by June and be able to tour the popular places like Sentosa and Night Safari. It is also my dream to bring my family to these places in the future, perhaps I’ll target local spots first. Hehehe…

There are many other things I am grateful about, some of which are as follows:

- I was able to teach ballet again to the little kids of Dance Plus early this year

- served through my passion at the ICON 2008 and Princess Diaries ( Usapang Babae ) of SFC,

-    being a participant ONLY at the MMC 2008

- enjoyed households with my SFC sisters

- attended The Feast at Valle Verde most Sundays of the year

- witnessed weddings of my friends like Mia and Leia, and engagement like my cousin Ate Love

- My mom’s 50^th birthday celebration

- strengthen bond with my friends and able to see long lost friends

- felt the love and support ( over and over again) of my family – both Casuyon s and Mercados

- gave back even on my own lil ways to our poor brother and sisters

- bought my first SLR Camera

- the Spa-holic days

- the silence of my heart with God

- the answered prayers

- the laughter I infect others

- the calls  from my Dad

- The tears that made me smile afterward

- the successful and fun-filled hosting

- the inspiring books I read throughout the year

- the notes God sends me every day

- the blogs I wrote

- the TV series I watched and enjoyed

- the new found friends

- the morning breeze

- and even the person I left behind.. well yeah, even that one.

It might be one of the crises I thought I’ll never get through; I never imagined even in my wildest nightmares that it could happen. I don’t have to elaborate (it was written all over my blogs anyway… hahaha) But yes, I am still thankful the truth was revealed early and those incidents happened. It made me a stronger woman to face the year ahead of me. It made me realized how my family and friends cared for me and how God has greater plans for me and preparing me for the best guy that is yet to come. I will be a fool to say that I’ll forget him or his dreadful actions, but I am over him and that’s what made it exciting! It will lead me to the “one” soon…and I will be here actively waiting. I will never forget these lines from an email I received “There comes a point in your life when you’ll realize who matters, who never did, who won’t anymore and who always will. So don’t worry about the people in your past, there’s a reason why they didn’t’ make it in you future”

I thank God for the 365 blessed days, we should be thankful even on gloomy days. It is serenity found only in our hearts, life is good though it may be unfair sometimes but still we have to be appreciative of the little things that made us smile this 2008.

For 2009, who knows what is next? But I will continue to be fun-loving and optimistic that there are greater things that lie ahead of us. More laughter and perhaps tears, but nothing happens by chance, we make our own destiny and we can always choose to be joyful even if we are not so happy at times. Thank you to all who have been part of my 2008, one way or another you made me a better woman and I will not wait for yesterday. Hello 2009!