highlights in my hair

I just came home from the salon a few hours ago. Here I go again, my stress buster… another haircut ( a very short haircut) and should I say worse (?) because I even allowed the "color technician" to put some highlights on my crowning glory. I did have a "rogue" moment before but never the serious highlights. Why was is called highlights anyway, to emphasize your hair style? But yeah, it was something new, something out of the ordinary. Just so I thought I always wanted to be the “extra” ordinary woman.

I was suppose to sleep early today ( so I can finally execute my gym plan tomorrow that failed today) but I can’t help but log in to the internet world again. While I was checking some stuff, my phone rang and it was my Dad. We never had the chance to talk last New Year though we spent almost an hour last Christmas over the phone. Our conversation started with the basics, then he asked how I am doing right now ( I know he meant my heart) and I said “ I am good” and I told him the “NR” story of my crush and so on. At the middle of our conversation, he mentioned about the nursing thing again (or I did hear my stepmom mentioned it to him to ask me about it) and that’s where my mood changed.

For those who don’t know me, I graduated as a Biologist because I thought I wanted to be a doctor. During those times, I have witnessed how aspiring doctors would study hard, spend much time at the hospital, study hard, go on duty even on holidays and did I say study hard?( No offense to my doctor friends ok? Its just my point of view) Well, it was that year 2003 that I realized or thought that being a doctor is not for me (should I blame it to my alma mater or to my high school classmates who influenced me?hmmm) December before I graduated from college I announced to my batch mates that I will no longer pursue my Medicine but instead take another course (I am kinda studious that days… hahaha) I even got a kick in the teeth when I found out that I graduated with a “laude” on my name but that did not stop me from breaking the “norm”. I thought about my next course, I even planned to take up Comm Arts or MassCom maybe since that's where I was inclined to but my Dad said it was not financially rewarding so there was I, so scared of ending up as a teacher ( also a very noble profession, but I would rather teach kindergarten pupils or the SAGIP kids than dealing with some stubborn college students coz I am stubborn myself..hehehe) so I took up Nursing. Hey, who’s not taking that course nowadays? I was even one of them. Three years, I studied and loved my course and I was imagining the paychecks abroad, the big house, the BMWs, the easy (?) life my course promised every hopeful student nurse while feeding a dying patient through an NGT. But I was lead to a different road, let’s just say the road less traveled. I kept on telling myself that I was brought to nursing perhaps to really help other people (that’s what little Ms. Philippines contestants used to say). I took the board, passed, leakage issue came out, I was even interviewed on TV (hahaha), got a job (not as a nurse), took the board again for the sake of clearing my name and passed again but up to this moment, never did I practiced my profession ever! Today, I am on the marketing field, a wedding host (which I enjoy the most), and an entrepreneur!

Have you ever asked yourself what you really wanted to be? Imagined what is it like or where will you be in the future? What about your sole purpose in life? I did asked and the picture is getting clearer and clearer but I still need some time to finalize my mental notes. But these I know, I want to do what I am passionate about. I want lit up the lives of every human being I encounter, I want to serve the poor in my own way, expound my talents and leverage from it. I wanted to develop my business and inspire people, give my family a more comfortable life and I want to have my own wonderful family in the near future (calling the groom to be..where are you?!) Just few of the things I wanted and one day I want these to be summarized in one great purpose in life.

And so back to my conversation with my Dad, when he asked me about my plans and insisting that I should take the exams I was diffident with my answer…” I’ll think about it Dad” is all I blurted out. It didn’t make him happy, he concluded that I don’t wanna be with him and that made me sad, I don’t wanna give him false statements, nor don’t want to break his heart. God knows I wanted to spend more time with my Dad in the past 26 years of my life and even dying to be with them everyday but having a decision about moving abroad, practicing nursing and leaving what I am passionate about is something I do not consider now. Hey, a US vacation or tour is not bad butI see myself here, in our humble land; this is where I will be wealthy not only financially but in all aspect of my life.

I do not want to go with flow of the river but I wanted to be just like a flowing river: deep, abundant and full of life. I know I hurt my Dad with what I said about thinking “it” over ( that’s the time a tear dropped from my eye) and I understand him for that but I know he also values my perspective and he is 100% supportive with what I wanted in life, just like my Mom. I am thankful to both of them , even though their love story doesn’t have a happy ending, I was more than glad that they raised me into what I am right now. A woman determined to succeed and be “extra” ordinary.

So I will leave you ( ladies) again with an excerpt from a song by India Arie:

“Now we're moving from the darkness into the light
This is the defining moment of our lives

'Cause you're beautiful like a flower
More valuable than a diamond
You are powerful like a fire
You can heal the world with your mind

There is nothing in the world that you cannot do
When you believe in you, who are beautiful
Yeah, you, who are brilliant
Yeah, you, who are powerful
Yeah, you, who are resilient”

It’s entitled Beautiful Flower. I encourage you to be one.

Living with Passion,

Sweet