SUmMeR 2005

The Summer 2005 had been very remarkable. I believe I have accomplished some things that I can forever reminisce in my life; at last I have pulled myself out of the gutter. Before, I would always asked God, why would He allow breaking me and even tearing me into pieces in order to experience life and I would mourn and complain how  can I ever be whole again. But God made me realized one thing and told me -  “Sweet, you have to pick up all the pieces and give it to me, so I may fix it and you may be whole again” (Straight into my very heart!) I was ashamed for being unfaithful to my Father. But it is indeed true, once I never let go of the things that keeps on haunting me I can never be free. I almost turned to be a cynical person because of the pieces I was trying to bury six feet under.

 

I have been a witness. To other people’s happiness:  from new found relationships, graduating in school, gotten from a new job, having a new toy, passing the board, to  proving  his worth..blah..blah..blah...but I  also saw the other side of the world : from losing a relationship, being fired form a job, being diagnosed with a disease, punished because of being stubborn, being rejected to simply waking up thinking he doesn’t have any purpose at all.

 

I guess reality really bites.

 

But in spite these things, I can claim that God has been victorious in my life. Just when I thought I was useless…the “When SWEET turned BITTER” days were over.

 

Lemme just share how God made my summer marvelous. I got a Dance class with reputable choreographers for FREE courtesy of my Christian community and to conclude it we will be having a Dance recital by mid June. I had two Retreats, one in SFC and the other, from my Nursing school. It was splendid. I was given the opportunity to serve in a conference and met new friends. Our Christian Life Program also started last 05.05.05 and so far every Thursday is victorious. I was even given the privilege to share my experience as a YFC making the move to SFC. Broken relationships were healed. I even saw friends I never saw for years and got the chance to have a conversation with them. I watched good movies this month, had a Thai massage,  I ate great foods and even tasted the mango shake for the very first time! (that’s for real!) I shared my giggles and “kilig” moments to wonderful persons, I even laughed as if it was my last with the jokes cracked by my friend, travel my way home with a bunch of humored people, posed for a lot of pictures and even wore my wings on a gathering.

Looking back...what I experienced was pretty normal; perhaps you, who is reading this have better stories and wonderful experiences. But I learned we don’t have to look far to find the joy we are seeking for. Sometimes, we would just have to seek within our perimeter. God is there. Even the answers to our questions are also there because if we would go around and travel far just to look for what’s missin’ it may be too late. Don’t deprive yourself of the small things that can still make you smile. A friend once told me there is a difference between Happiness and Joy though they seem to mean one thing. Joy is a deeper word since happiness came from a root word meaning “chance”. I didn’t bother to prove her right or wrong but what stimulated my brain cells was the fact that we can choose to be happy and or joyful. It’s not only by chance, but we are responsible for every action we will be showing, the words we will be saying and the tremendous decisions we will be doing.

 

Everyday is a new day. The moment we choose to open our eyes and continue letting the Carbon dioxide turned into Oxygen and used by our blood, there is life. We have life and we should not waste it by indulging in bereavement for all the pain we have accumulated. The pain will never go away by itself, perhaps it will be intermittent but it will always find its way back. We just have to be ready. If PAIN wanna have a piece of you..never loose the courage to fight it back..for after the pain and we become wounded, no one can treat your gash, sore,lesions and the likes but only yourself, your own platelets. After that…we can all be Wounded Healers.

 

Can’t wait for my next summer!

 

As days goes by I would still be praying the same prayer…

 

”God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change, the COURAGE to change the things I can and theWISDOM to know the difference.”

 

My friend….

 

LET GO and LET GOD.