it's gonna be a bright...bright sun shiny day

I woke up from a nice dream :) hihihi..I can't believe I dreamed about him. ( hmm hmm hmm) and that resulted to a better day! Today is really brighter for me and for my EYES. Yes, my brown eyes ( hahaha) coz I just got my clear contacts from Doc Anne, our company's ophthalmologist. I never thought I'll be wearing eyes glasses nor contacts at the age of 26. Last year, I started to wonder why PowerPoint presentations looked blurred on the LCD screens,thought it was the pre-loved projector but then I observed that even far billboards also manifested the same blurriness. I then knew that it was my eyes, I no longer has the 20/20 vision... waaahhh! Since I am nearsighted , I just purchased my pink eyeglasses to use it when I am on the field. I don't want to have contact lenses for the reason of being clumsy. I might just scrub it off unconsciously or I'll be having a hard time placing it in my delicate eyes. Blame it to badminton, I was "forced" to purchase my first contact lens. *sigh* I was advised to wear it for 2 hours earlier today, then 4 hours tomorrow, 8 hours the next day and so on and so forth until my eyes get used to the foreign body that lies in it. After I put on the contacts, uhmm, it's not that bad... it was, yeah, more comfortable and I can play badminton at last! :)

it's gonna be a bright...bright sun shiny day

I woke up from a nice dream :) hihihi..I can't believe I dreamed about him. ( hmm hmm hmm) and that resulted to a better day! Today is really brighter for me and for my EYES. Yes, my brown eyes ( hahaha) coz I just got my clear contacts from Doc Anne, our company's ophthalmologist. I never thought I'll be wearing eyes glasses nor contacts at the age of 26. Last year, I started to wonder why PowerPoint presentations looked blurred on the LCD screens,thought it was the pre-loved projector but then I observed that even far billboards also manifested the same blurriness. I then knew that it was my eyes, I no longer has the 20/20 vision... waaahhh! Since I am nearsighted , I just purchased my pink eyeglasses to use it when I am on the field. I don't want to have contact lenses for the reason of being clumsy. I might just scrub it off unconsciously or I'll be having a hard time placing it in my delicate eyes. Blame it to badminton, I was "forced" to purchase my first contact lens. *sigh* I was advised to wear it for 2 hours earlier today, then 4 hours tomorrow, 8 hours the next day and so on and so forth until my eyes get used to the foreign body that lies in it. After I put  on the contacts, uhmm, it's not that bad... it was, yeah, more comfortable and yipee I can play badminton at last! :)

Bitter?

January 21, 2009

Dear Maurelle,

Refuse to be bitter. It’s a poison that you don’t want even a single drop
in your life. If someone has betrayed you, pity them and wish them the
best. You move on.

Your Encourager,
God

P.S. Forgiveness is one of the greatest things I’ve ever invented,
maurelle . Use it often.

Bitter?

January 21, 2009

Dear Maurelle,

Refuse to be bitter. It’s a poison that you don’t want even a single drop
in your life. If someone has betrayed you, pity them and wish them the
best. You move on.

Your Encourager,
God

P.S. Forgiveness is one of the greatest things I’ve ever invented,
maurelle . Use it often.

I know you know this song....

Last weekend, I've been to a leadership boot camp that changed my life. It is one fantastic event even if I missed few parts of it, I was bold enough to travel alone just to be on that event because I know it is something worth attending.

To make it short, I rediscovered myself, I met wonderful people, I shouted at the top of my lungs, clapped my hands and even stood up to appreciate other people who decided to succeed. But simple things would really give us great message at times...who would have thought this song will be sang? It was like a high school tune that amateur contestants sing on competitions, but it made a lot of difference at the night of the camp. Its message made a big impact...I know you know this song, you might even sang it in your head before..for all who Dream... this is for us!

ONE MOMENT IN TIME
Whitney Houston

Each day I live I want to be
A day to give The best of me
I'm only one But not alone
My finest day Is yet unknown

I broke my heart For every gain
To taste the sweet I faced the pain
I rise and fall Yet through it all
This much remains

Chorus:
I want one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams Are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
Whem I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment in time
I will feel, I will feel eternity

I've lived to be
The very best I want it all
No time for less I've laid my plans
Now lay the chance Here in my hands



You're a winner
For a lifetime If you seize that
One moment in time Make it shine



Then in that one moment in time
I will be, I will be free

I know you know this song

Last weekend, I’ve been to a leadership boot camp that changed my life. It was one fantastic event even if I missed few parts of it, I was bold enough to travel alone just to be on that event because I know it is something worth attending. To make it short, I rediscovered myself, I met wonderful people, I shouted at the top of my lungs, clapped my hands and even stood up to appreciate other people who decided to succeed. But simple things would really give us great message at times…who would have thought this song will be sang? It was like a high school tune that amateur contestants sing on competitions, but it made a lot of difference at the night of the camp. Its message made a big impact…I know you know this song, you might even sang it in your head before..for all who Dream… this is for us!

ONE MOMENT IN TIME
Whitney Houston

Each day I live I want to be
A day to give The best of me
I’m only one But not alone
My finest day Is yet unknown

I broke my heart For every gain
To taste the sweet I faced the pain
I rise and fall Yet through it all
This much remains

Chorus:
I want one moment in time
When I’m more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams Are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
Whem I’m racing with destiny
Then in that one moment in time
I will feel, I will feel eternity

I’ve lived to be
The very best I want it all
No time for less I’ve laid my plans
Now lay the chance Here in my hands

You’re a winner
For a lifetime If you seize that
One moment in time Make it shine

Then in that one moment in time
I will be, I will be free

"highlights in my hair" - the feekchur

Since many of  my friends thought my last blog would have a picture of my newest haircut... I finally had a picture this evening..hehehe...

THE SHORTEST HAIR CUT I EVER HAD ...( oh and with the highlights too)

For my previous post :

http://gorgeousweet.multiply.com/journal/item/164/highlights_in_my_hair


You can also check out my past hair trips :

http://gorgeousweet.multiply.com/journal/item/136/from_this_to_this_to_this....

"highlights in my hair" - the feekchur

Since many of my friends thought my last blog would have a picture of my newest haircut... I finally had a picture this evening..hehehe...

THE SHORTEST HAIR CUT I EVER HAD ...( oh and with the highlights too)

For my previous post :

http://gorgeousweet.multiply.com/journal/item/164/highlights_in_my_hair


You can also check out my past hair trips :

http://gorgeousweet.multiply.com/journal/item/136/from_this_to_this_to_this....

details in the fabric

At my pink and green desk

1300H

I really love listening to music and I know it is a gift from God. It is an instrument we can all turn to in times that we are happy, sad, emotional, hopeless romantic and even feeling bored( that's even the reason why I became VERY impulsive in buying my nanochromatic Ipod Nano after i lost my 30 GB ipod..huhuhu). I posted quite a number of songs already on my blogs and today will be just like any other "music" day. I am here at the office,in front of my pink and green desk, first day of work and first week of 2009 and I opened my music player, chose an album to play and Jason Mraz was first on my list so I dragged his We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things album to my player. After a few songs like Lucky and I'm Yours, the third song caught my attention. I thought I heard Jason sang " If you have a broken heart, replace it" .. and I reacted "huh?" so I rewind the track and listened very carefully, I even searched for the lyrics and this is what i found out: the lyrics...

Song Title : Details in the Fabric

Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling on your threads and
Breaking yourself up

If it's a broken part, replace it
If it’s a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it

And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything will be fine

Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I'm doing everything

Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything
Everything will be fine
Everything

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?

Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing.

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Everything

Hold your own
Know your name
Go your own way

Hold your own
Know your name
Go your own way.

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine?
Are the things that make you blow
Hell no reason go on and scream
If you’re shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold


---


When I was kid ( and even now) our elders would tell us to use our eyes and not our mouth when we are looking for something. I used to do that, the mouth-thing and sometimes I even panic when things do not turn out the way I planned or if I was caught between a situation I never expected to happen. Sometimes, I just want to break and loose myself but I know I wont and I will never do that just because of a broken heart. Better face it, endure it then detach from it and move on. :)

highlights in my hair

I just came home from the salon a few hours ago. Here I go again, my stress buster… another haircut ( a very short haircut) and should I say worse (?) because I even allowed the "color technician" to put some highlights on my crowning glory. I did have a "rogue" moment before but never the serious highlights. Why was is called highlights anyway, to emphasize your hair style? But yeah, it was something new, something out of the ordinary. Just so I thought I always wanted to be the “extra” ordinary woman.

I was suppose to sleep early today ( so I can finally execute my gym plan tomorrow that failed today) but I can’t help but log in to the internet world again. While I was checking some stuff, my phone rang and it was my Dad. We never had the chance to talk last New Year though we spent almost an hour last Christmas over the phone. Our conversation started with the basics, then he asked how I am doing right now ( I know he meant my heart) and I said “ I am good” and I told him the “NR” story of my crush and so on. At the middle of our conversation, he mentioned about the nursing thing again (or I did hear my stepmom mentioned it to him to ask me about it) and that’s where my mood changed.

For those who don’t know me, I graduated as a Biologist because I thought I wanted to be a doctor. During those times, I have witnessed how aspiring doctors would study hard, spend much time at the hospital, study hard, go on duty even on holidays and did I say study hard?( No offense to my doctor friends ok? Its just my point of view) Well, it was that year 2003 that I realized or thought that being a doctor is not for me (should I blame it to my alma mater or to my high school classmates who influenced me?hmmm) December before I graduated from college I announced to my batch mates that I will no longer pursue my Medicine but instead take another course (I am kinda studious that days… hahaha) I even got a kick in the teeth when I found out that I graduated with a “laude” on my name but that did not stop me from breaking the “norm”. I thought about my next course, I even planned to take up Comm Arts or MassCom maybe since that's where I was inclined to but my Dad said it was not financially rewarding so there was I, so scared of ending up as a teacher ( also a very noble profession, but I would rather teach kindergarten pupils or the SAGIP kids than dealing with some stubborn college students coz I am stubborn myself..hehehe) so I took up Nursing. Hey, who’s not taking that course nowadays? I was even one of them. Three years, I studied and loved my course and I was imagining the paychecks abroad, the big house, the BMWs, the easy (?) life my course promised every hopeful student nurse while feeding a dying patient through an NGT. But I was lead to a different road, let’s just say the road less traveled. I kept on telling myself that I was brought to nursing perhaps to really help other people (that’s what little Ms. Philippines contestants used to say). I took the board, passed, leakage issue came out, I was even interviewed on TV (hahaha), got a job (not as a nurse), took the board again for the sake of clearing my name and passed again but up to this moment, never did I practiced my profession ever! Today, I am on the marketing field, a wedding host (which I enjoy the most), and an entrepreneur!

Have you ever asked yourself what you really wanted to be? Imagined what is it like or where will you be in the future? What about your sole purpose in life? I did asked and the picture is getting clearer and clearer but I still need some time to finalize my mental notes. But these I know, I want to do what I am passionate about. I want lit up the lives of every human being I encounter, I want to serve the poor in my own way, expound my talents and leverage from it. I wanted to develop my business and inspire people, give my family a more comfortable life and I want to have my own wonderful family in the near future (calling the groom to be..where are you?!) Just few of the things I wanted and one day I want these to be summarized in one great purpose in life.

And so back to my conversation with my Dad, when he asked me about my plans and insisting that I should take the exams I was diffident with my answer…” I’ll think about it Dad” is all I blurted out. It didn’t make him happy, he concluded that I don’t wanna be with him and that made me sad, I don’t wanna give him false statements, nor don’t want to break his heart. God knows I wanted to spend more time with my Dad in the past 26 years of my life and even dying to be with them everyday but having a decision about moving abroad, practicing nursing and leaving what I am passionate about is something I do not consider now. Hey, a US vacation or tour is not bad butI see myself here, in our humble land; this is where I will be wealthy not only financially but in all aspect of my life.

I do not want to go with flow of the river but I wanted to be just like a flowing river: deep, abundant and full of life. I know I hurt my Dad with what I said about thinking “it” over ( that’s the time a tear dropped from my eye) and I understand him for that but I know he also values my perspective and he is 100% supportive with what I wanted in life, just like my Mom. I am thankful to both of them , even though their love story doesn’t have a happy ending, I was more than glad that they raised me into what I am right now. A woman determined to succeed and be “extra” ordinary.

So I will leave you ( ladies) again with an excerpt from a song by India Arie:

“Now we're moving from the darkness into the light
This is the defining moment of our lives

'Cause you're beautiful like a flower
More valuable than a diamond
You are powerful like a fire
You can heal the world with your mind

There is nothing in the world that you cannot do
When you believe in you, who are beautiful
Yeah, you, who are brilliant
Yeah, you, who are powerful
Yeah, you, who are resilient”

It’s entitled Beautiful Flower. I encourage you to be one.

Living with Passion,

Sweet

details in the fabric

At my pink and green desk

1300H

I really love listening to music and I know it is a gift from God. It is an instrument we can all turn to in times that we are happy, sad, emotional, hopeless romantic and even feeling bored( that's even the reason why I became VERY impulsive in buying my nanochromatic Ipod Nano after i lost my 30 GB ipod..huhuhu). I posted quite a number of songs already on my blogs and today will be just like any other "music" day. I am here at the office,in front of my pink and green desk, first day of work and first week of 2009 and I opened my music player, chose an album to play and Jason Mraz was first on my list so I dragged his We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things album to my player. After a few songs like Lucky and I'm Yours, the third song caught my attention. I thought I heard Jason sang " If you have a broken heart, replace it" .. and I reacted "huh?" so I rewind the track and listened very carefully, I even searched for the lyrics and this is what i found out: 

Song Title : Details in the Fabric

Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling on your threads and
Breaking yourself up

If it's a broken part, replace it
If it’s a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it

And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything will be fine

Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I'm doing everything

Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything
Everything will be fine
Everything

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?

Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing.

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Everything

Hold your own
Know your name
Go your own way

Hold your own
Know your name
Go your own way.

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine?
Are the things that make you blow
Hell no reason go on and scream
If you’re shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold


---


When I was kid ( and even now) our elders would tell us to use our eyes and not our mouth when we are looking for something. I used to do that, the mouth-thing and sometimes I even panic when things do not turn out the way I planned or if I was caught between a situation I never expected to happen. Sometimes, I just want to break and lose myself somehow but I know I wont and I will never do that just because of a broken heart. Better face it, endure it then detach from it and move on. :)

Where is he?

Talk about creating a website dedicated to your one true love...I can't believe I did that. I find it "baduy" but it was what I am feelin' yesterday when I created it ( both the baduy and urgency feeling to create such site..hahaha) I will leave that site anonymous for now but here is my first letter to my one true love: ( please don't laugh..)

To  my Kismet,
 
Can I call you "Baby"?  It is simple but very romantic ( I think)

I will dedicate this site for you, while of course waiting for your arrival very soon.
I had been to a painful relationship last year (2008), I thought he was you but I was wrong. He cheated while I was busy being faithful to him.  I had to get through that crisis  and I am glad I am doing great in coping now and ready to find the real you again, just like I did on different men that pretended to be you but walked away. I am also thankful that God let it all happen, even if I was hurt I know it was for the best because I may not be able to find you if I was stuck on that relationship. A relationship I was trying to work out alone, I never followed my instincts even my superstitions, just my crazy heart and do not often listened to God's messages.

You know, it scares me… how would I know that it will be  you already?  I pray that it will be you…and I am asking for God's help for me to  discern well. I made this section just for you and I shall show this to you on the day we will say our vows to each other and spend the rest of our lives together, telling you I have waited for you all my life.
 
Today, January 1, 2009. I will again start my search for you. I may have met you in the past or I will be meeting you soon enough, I do not care.  It might be a long and winding road but I know I will find you and I hope you will find me too and know that it is me you are looking for.
 
So God Help us
 
Its me,
Your kismet

2-0-0-8

2008. It has been a year, colorful even with shades of black and grey. A year I will never forget, just like the last 25 years of my life. I am still searching for the pot of happiness at the end of the rainbow and I believe it will always be a nonstop journey. There are a lot of wonderful memories this year in spite the painful recollections that I will fortunately leave behind.

My health, I welcomed 2008 with a news that I have Levo ( left) scoliosis, I decided to have a check up since I am having this throbbing back pain for days already. Dancing has always been a passion of mine since I was a kid and never did I think I’ll be diagnosed with this condition. I am still thankful that it’s only a 10 degree angle scolio so I just had a few therapy sessions and the pain was gone temporarily. I was also forced to wear eye glass from time to time since my vision is no longer 20/20, I already have myopia (nearsightedness). I am still thankful to witness the wonderful creations of God, the sunset and the hopeful sunrise, the smiling moon and stars and even the people I love. I was also diagnosed to have an ovarian cyst but good thing it disappeared after a month of drug treatment.

My work, even if I passed the nursing board exam again last February after the awful 2006 leakage issue and thanked God that even if I just reviewed every after office hours at, where else, Starbucks, I never pursued that career. I continued to work in the Marketing field, I never had the formal education but it served as a challenge for me and God is so good I was even promoted this year. Aside from that, my hosting passion also flourished and I met a lot of wonderful couples that inspires me to accept as true that an ever after is still around the corner. Late 2008, I had a firm decision to continue my business since I know that there is no other way but for me to be an entrepreneur, if I really wanted to have the freedom of time and money ( of course) I ALWAYS wanted to have.

It was also a year of travel for me! It was very impractical to spend my HARD earned money if I will dedicate it to travelling alone(as early as now) so that’s why I am thankful that I get to visit Singapore, Cebu, Iloilo, Palawan, Tacloban, Vigan, Quezon, Occidental and Oriental Mindoro and Bolinao whether it is for business or pleasure. I enjoyed the adventure most especially when I am travelling alone. It gives me that sense of freedom even for a while. The weird part is that every time I ride the plane, seeing the puffy clouds, the crystal blue water, the green mountains and even the Manila skyline makes me ecstatic! I am hopeful that I will get to see Barcelona this February ( I need a miracle) and Singapore again by June and be able to tour the popular places like Sentosa and Night Safari. It is also my dream to bring my family to these places in the future, perhaps I’ll target local spots first. Hehehe…

There are many other things I am grateful about, some of which are as follows:

- I was able to teach ballet again to the little kids of Dance Plus early this year

- served through my passion at the ICON 2008 and Princess Diaries ( Usapang Babae ) of SFC,

-    being a participant ONLY at the MMC 2008

- enjoyed households with my SFC sisters

- attended The Feast at Valle Verde most Sundays of the year

- witnessed weddings of my friends like Mia and Leia, and engagement like my cousin Ate Love

- My mom’s 50^th birthday celebration

- strengthen bond with my friends and able to see long lost friends

- felt the love and support ( over and over again) of my family – both Casuyon s and Mercados

- gave back even on my own lil ways to our poor brother and sisters

- bought my first SLR Camera

- the Spa-holic days

- the silence of my heart with God

- the answered prayers

- the laughter I infect others

- the calls  from my Dad

- The tears that made me smile afterward

- the successful and fun-filled hosting

- the inspiring books I read throughout the year

- the notes God sends me every day

- the blogs I wrote

- the TV series I watched and enjoyed

- the new found friends

- the morning breeze

- and even the person I left behind.. well yeah, even that one.

It might be one of the crises I thought I’ll never get through; I never imagined even in my wildest nightmares that it could happen. I don’t have to elaborate (it was written all over my blogs anyway… hahaha) But yes, I am still thankful the truth was revealed early and those incidents happened. It made me a stronger woman to face the year ahead of me. It made me realized how my family and friends cared for me and how God has greater plans for me and preparing me for the best guy that is yet to come. I will be a fool to say that I’ll forget him or his dreadful actions, but I am over him and that’s what made it exciting! It will lead me to the “one” soon…and I will be here actively waiting. I will never forget these lines from an email I received “There comes a point in your life when you’ll realize who matters, who never did, who won’t anymore and who always will. So don’t worry about the people in your past, there’s a reason why they didn’t’ make it in you future”

I thank God for the 365 blessed days, we should be thankful even on gloomy days. It is serenity found only in our hearts, life is good though it may be unfair sometimes but still we have to be appreciative of the little things that made us smile this 2008.

For 2009, who knows what is next? But I will continue to be fun-loving and optimistic that there are greater things that lie ahead of us. More laughter and perhaps tears, but nothing happens by chance, we make our own destiny and we can always choose to be joyful even if we are not so happy at times. Thank you to all who have been part of my 2008, one way or another you made me a better woman and I will not wait for yesterday. Hello 2009!