Friday the 23rd

I don't wanna go into details, recount the horrible, traumatic, heart crushing experience last July 23, 2010.
I usually hear those stories from acquaintances, rarely from close friends but on that tragic night I was, as quoted by th police at the precinct, a victim.

The whole scene ran in a very slow motion, air was sucked out of my lungs and my brain cells for a matter of seconds gone ballistic. That bastard took away Kobe, BB, Sammy, Nono that were sheltered by my Crumpler. One thing I'm so sure of after that.... I'm helpless. Actually, anyone who could have seen me on the first 30 minutes of the incident may not have recognized me. I gone mad, crying loudly, trembling frantically.

Strangers started to gather around, looking at me with pity in their eyes ( ohhh I hate that part) I flew out of the picture as fast as I can when I realized they are all bunch of useless, well... strangers.

I need someone. I can't contain my emotions. I need help. I'm gonna burst!

 In between sobs, I politely asked my new neighbor to lend me her mobile phone so I can call a friend. Thank goodness she has a genuine heart! I can't move my fingers so she dialed the numbers for me.

*Ring*  and my friend answered. I was on the brink of being ashamed of myself for disturbing my friend in the middle of a sumptuous dinner but the h*** I care, I need someone and if this someone can't help me perhaps I can drag out of my memory another friend's number. Thank goodness, he is heaven sent  and he became my messenger just like Angel Gabriel :)

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I pondered what this "crime" could have caused me... well let's put aside the tremendous money I have to earn again to be able to replace those stuff that was lost.  It brought me a brave new world, a new beginning, hence a clean slate.

A friend reminded me, God wanted me to empty my hands so I can receive more blessings. Indeed, true. I'm grateful nothing fatal happened to me. I don't have to question God why this happened, it's not because I deserve it, not because I was a plain victim of poverty in our country, it was simple reminder. Anything, anyone...nothing is permanent All can be taken away in a snap, it's all borrowed, even our own lives. Some would think that's unfair, I do at times, but at the end of it all, we shall come to our final resting place. We will all have our last breath on earth. So what do I mean? I don't wanna waste another day doing useless things, I wanna devote more time loving more people especially my family and friends and even those strangers who need help. Relationship, trust and love are built and I don't have  to wait another day to start spreading the Good news to everyone.

To the robber, how I wanted to curse you, wish you hell... but I just pray that the value of my things will be put into "good" use , let's say - feed a hungry child, cure a sick person, shelter a homeless family or whatever.

I barely slept , I'm having a hard time actually. The scene keeps coming back to me but there's no other way but forward. It was one heck of experience. But yes, lemme step forward... God prepared bigger blessings for me and I'm ready to catch it!
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Thank you

To the random angels : Ate Rhea my new neighbor for lending her phone, Gemma Garcia ( sikat na mag-gugulay sa cityhall as described to my mom) and her family who found my wallet
To my friends who prayed and empathized with me
To Reyzie, for calling my financial institutions
To Ivy and Jepoi, your voices calmed me
To Thea, Joyce, Bryan C., Joyce D.C., Jon and Don for sacrificing your time at the MMC just to be with me up until Anne and Jett arrived
To Anne and Jett, what can I do without you two that night
To my parents and siblings, I know they were worried bout what happened but their love sustains me
To my knight and shining armor that night :) my friend, Lloyd - sorry to take much of your time but appreciate your mere presence, drinking those 2 bottles of beer under the moon may have really kept me sane.
To my one and only God and His battalion of angels, who protected me from harm.


P.S. to Kobe, BB, Sammy and Nono and my Crumpler - it was a good fight, I will cherish our times together and how you have helped me. Kobe, you know almost all my secrets, BB and Sammy kept me in touch with the world, Nono for the good music we shared and to my Crumpler that survived the weather. May your new owner take good care of you. :_(

BURST

( Sudden burst of emotion)

Why do I get that feeling of boredom even before something magical could happen? 


BUT IS IT BOREDOM OR FEAR? That I have to know....

was it a mean day or a happy day?

Hormonal imbalance strikes again. I feel so devilish the whole day. Mood changes in a snap, I am ready to jump on people like a werewolf ( just kidding)

Oh well, I capped the day with a song from dongsaeng Thea..it's playing on my head while I was walking  my way home... You know that feeling that you suddenly remembered someone or something and a sudden smirk appears on your face? That's exactly how I look from the hidden camera. There are just days like these, and I don't wanna let go...



For those or us who are on the brink of something... sometimes, i guess we just need to let ourselves experience that tremendous whirl of emotions. Maybe..just maybe

Yes!

“
July 14, 2010
Dear Maurelle,
It’s final. Your dreams will come true.
Happy for you,
God
P.S. Delays don’t mean denials, Maurelle.

—I have to pick up my jaw on the floor after reading this.. Arrgghh God, You so know everything. Thank you for affirming ^_^
This message is a daily God Whisper subscription from Bo Sanchez.

Radar

Finally! After more than a year of not hitting the dance floor I was able to rekindle my affair with my first love : DANCING

Drew and I tried a HIP-HOP Class @  Brewing Point Studio last Wednesday ( thank you to a special holiday) Our teacher for that afternoon was Niko Bolante - a former member of Phil. All Star.  

Oh I really missed dancing. To be honest, I was a bit sad :(  If I would give myself a grade I would definitely get an F! My memory sucks, my moves are out of control, timing is really bad. And those kids, my classmates.. holy cow, they are way younger than me, hahahaha. No, I am not a superb dancer but I do know I can dance ( you heard that, Simon Fuller?) .

It was a good start for me, Let’s say I am just “warming-up”, I believe my mind and body will be back to it’s “normal” state again. Just give me a couple of sessions and I can loudly say  ”I m Back - and I m here to stay”

For my first session, Niko taught us dance steps to the beat of Radar by Usher ( check out the link above) I was happy to hear Niko told us some inspiring words :

“If you’ve watched Usher’s dancers, their moves and facial expressions are like of Ushers, they dance with passion.. there’s no such thing as back-up dancers… they are DANCERS…” 

Dancing, I know, will always be a part of my system. I’m no longer in my prime, I am old school. But it doesn’t mean I would just let go of it.  I will hold on to it for the mere fact that it is something I love.  Sometimes I would think - I envy my friends who pursue a dancing career, they are of course doing fantastic. But then again I realized it’s not a thing I wanna do for a living, nevertheless I would still want to dance, dance in the streets, in my room, on stage, with my idols like Justin T. and Usher but most important of all dance to glorify the Giver of talents - God. 

I woke up yesterday embracing the body aches - it is expected. In spite of that, I am excited with the next sessions. Just like finding an old friend you never had enough chance to love.

So I tell myself… Don’t just walk Sweet, Dance.

*Dear Usher, I won’t be able to watch you when you come here in PI next week, I’m in Singapore! How dare you not wait for me :_(

July

Yes! I heart July. I woke up this morning with a different kind of zest ( well, actually I have to drag my a** to the bathroom.. hahaha) Fresh start, new beginnings.. i love those stuff ( I’m zealous to start something new but very lazy to finish it.. that’s a bad trait for “Blue” people like me) 

But people are asking, So what really makes July special?  ok lemme give you some start

1. It’s the 7th month of the year( seven is a happy number for me, just like 8 and 12)

2. I’m going back to Singapore! 

3. Awesome Bootcamp in Tagaytay

4. Conference in Cavite (SFC)

5. I’m jotting down new set of resolutions ( including really really really super really decided to change my bad habits! Procrastination is on top of my list by the way)

              MY DREAMS NEED SOME ACTION, it was a bit on hiatus :(

6. I just lighted my love affair with dancing again

7. the rest.. Oh July.. surprise me!