SWEET 30 before 30 project

I was excited to share my 2010, I was even collating the pictures on my mind for what tops each month. Then I shifted roads. I will just share ( very quickly) what matters most of my 2010 :

 2010 in one word is LOVE. I have come to love more and be love itself this year. I learned to value old and new friendships,appreciate my family even more and ultimately love myself. I have experienced smacked right in my face what they say as unconditional love. I was also grateful for the many blessings and even embrace the things that I cannot change. I have loved 2010 to the bones, I can even say it was the best year ever but of course it’s not (yet). So I have to let go. It’s time to put away 2010 knick-knacks that are no longer significant so I can have more room to newer and better memories. An old series that keeps playing on my mind is killer venom, so I’d better be discovering new series that will further entertain me.

Something has to go, so that something else better will come. So long 2010, I loved you, thank you and goodbye! I will put into use all the LOVE you have trickled in my heart.

And now, come here 2011!  First things first, give me a nice hug! *uhmmmp*

To begin with, I have devised a plan!  My birthday falls early every year (a disadvantage perhaps) I will be turning 29 ( oh gahd, it’s just numberzzzz Sweet!) by February 2011 and it suddenly dawned on me that this last bit of twenties is just flying by *wohoo* . I spoke to Camille, a good friend of mine, about my 30 Sweet Delights project ( more of that next time) and she shared an inspiring blog.

Now, Im sharing this to the world so I can be accountable with my actions and uhm keep the motivation power up, so you, yes you should encourage and help me out! ^^  So may I  present to you the SWEET 30 things before 30 list. This is not a new idea; many people have done this already and succeeded. What went into my crazy mind? Nothing much, I just don’t want life to slip away,  die daydreaming what could have been, spit out words that remains a broken decree or even writing down things on my bucketlist and just stare at it for years. ACTION! That’s the whole idea, so I have take out some from my ULTIMATE BUCKETLIST ( my lifetime dreamlist) and include few more on this list. I wanted to accomplish so much and I ended up doing less, so let’s begin with 30.Im now putting matters in my hands.

 My 30 before 30 list : click here for my progress 

1. Climb Mt. Pulag

2. Treat my mom for an Asian Cruise

3. Try Scuba dividing

4. Surf in La Union

5. 30 day Bikram Yoga challenge

6. Lose 20 lbs

7. Silent retreat

8. Batanes trip

9. Earn my first million

10. A photoshoot with a professional Photographer

11. Mentor someone

12. Multi-media crash course ( graphic design, Flash and Adobe Premiere)

13. Host a wedding in Boracay

14. Invest in the stock market

15. Pay for a complete stranger’s meal

16. Make 50 kids happy for a day

17. Date 30 guys

18. Learn pole dancing

19. Mission Trip

20. Learn to cook 5 new dishes

21. Play bingo in a mall

22. Complete a 10k Marathon

23. Get a tattoo

24. Make 100 paper cranes

25. Another solo backpacking trip

26. A day at the 2011 Hot Air balloon festival

27. Read the bible cover to cover

28. Eat tortang talong and Okra with a smile on my face

29. Leave 50 post-it notes on 50 ATMs  

30. Complete my 30 before 30 list and prepare my 31 before 31 list *yey*

I tell you, this is serious stuff and I'm so nervous. I even thought about it a number of times before finalizing my list. Well, honestly I'm just scared that I may not be able to complete the list but that's the fun of it! This is more than a challenge or the butterflies it brings to my stomach. I know this will make the best out of me in a way or another. Money and time is also an itsy bitsy concern ( hahaha) Im not a millionaire yet to splurge moolah but I firmly believe that is part of the quest! ( improvise Sweet, you're good at that) So, your help my friend will be highly appreciated if there's something you can share with me like maybe tagging me along on your next backpacking trips on the places I mentioned, discount coupons on Star cruise or even be part of my cheer team in accomplishing  the list. So that's it, this would be a busy year ever but would also be better than 2010. Can't wait to finish the list and kick some ass. Come on, grab a pen and start writing your own list NOW!

 "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" - Philippians 4:13

share a sunshine,

Sweet 

before MMX - a decade of Love, Faith and Hope

credit :http://zoewiezo.deviantart.com

I can’t disregard a certain fact that it’s been over a decade already. The first 11 years of the millennium, now I can really say that time flies fast! So before I say thank you and share with you my fabulous 2010 (that would be a different article I’ll post*wink*), I would like to share first  a decade of rock star experience!

2000

-       I was a freshman in college, adjusting to the urban life that Manila brings, so many funny and dumb stories to tell

-       I am officially 18 – an adult as they say (gifts include a box of Lucky me pancit canton and the OVA Samurai X, yeah boy)

2001 

-       Youth For Christ played a very important role in my life, I started a personal relationship with God

-        I was addicted to dancing, got wonderful friends at the dance group I was in

2002

-       I finally saw my dad after 12 years that he was away, I was also able to meet my 2 other gwapo younger brothers Nazh and Andre

-       My first mission trip : Tuguegarao

-       I used my passion for dancing to serve God ( Excelsis, was it this year that our group was formed, scattered brain mode)

2003

-       I finished BS Biology with flying colours 

-       I entered Single for Christ, meet beautiful people in the community

-       I boldly took another course – BS Nursing

-       GORGEOUS HOUSEHOLD was formed

-        I started hosting events and weddings

2004

-       I started blogging - no, I was addicted in blogging

-       SANGGRES were born

-       it was year of poetry and music for me

       2005

-       up close and personal meriendacena with Gary V

-       memorable activities with my SFC family

-       Second mission trip – Gawad kalinga building houses in Nueva Ecija

-       one of the grandest reunion/ Christmas vacation of the Casuyon Empire

-       first time I set my foot on the pristine sand of Boracay

       2006 

-       I moved to Quezon City after living in manila for almost 7 years

-       I spent my birthday in Baguio at the SFC icon with my BIG SFC family

-       graduated and passed the board but was a victim of the leakage issue 

-       a great getaway in Batangas, unplanned but one of the best  I taught ballet to little kids, thank you to Dance Plus
-     G-UNIT

-       I got in on my first  job at the age of 24

 2007 

-       I had my first ever  hip-hop recital when I joined SOUL GROOVE in UP ( Mama, Prince and Lani watched it! yey)

-       GIRLFRIENDS, oh these angels – a deeper friendship was establishedMy first Mindanao Trip

-       Watched Kobe Bryant live in Ultra ^^

-       I resigned from my first work and got a real job in Makati then resigned again and got a better job in Quezon City

-       I excelled on areas I have no freakin idea about ( sorry for boasting hehehe)

-       I adopted Brando

-       My US petition was cancelled ( that was a relief! – hope my dad’s not reading this)

-       I signed up for a Facebook account ( hahaha)

2008 

                

-       I hosted a wedding in Bolinao,Pangasinan -the farthest so far

-       A memorable Princess diaries in Miriam College ( talk about trippin on stage while wearing a fabulous yellow gown)            Welcomed Peaches ( my first DSLR)

-       I was able to wear small size clothes *ROFL*

2009

-       My business venture and the amazing friends I have in Synergy

-       Moved to the best apartment ever, so far ( ala Jandi ^^)

-       Was part of Ate Love’s beautiful wedding

-       I got to travel around the Philippines, I was away for almost a month – you know ala jetsetter (hihihi) thank you to my former job (Aparri, Tuguegarao,Ilocos Sur ( Vigan, Bangi etc), Ilocos Norte, ThunderBird in La Union,

Palawan,Mindoro,Cebu, Lanao Del Norte,Cagayan, Iloilo, Tacloban, Iloilo, Bacolod etc.)

-------

Hmmm the pages of this blog would not suffice all the memories I had the past 10 years, of course it was also bittersweet sometimes but these are the memories that I just left behind. If you are my friend you would know that it kills me to carry a small bag, it should almost always a big bag that contains all the necessary stuff, even on travels I would bring at least 3 bags but it would contain just and only the important and worth bringing ( i swear!) things I have.Excess baggage is a no no.  

I moved to 4 different places in a decade, met new people, reunion with good old folks, witnessed birthdays, weddings and the arrival of cute babies of my friends,  lost and found again, watched a bunch of movies and koreanovelas, hosted hundreds of weddings, listened to different music, fell in love a couple of times, cried a bucket of tears, laughed countless times, prayed hard, embraced silence, accepted changes, forgave and asked for forgiveness , gave and received love.  I watched myself grow into the woman I am today and though I misses a lot of the simple things I had before I recognize that there’s still a vast and maybe incalculable experiences and learning ahead of me.

Thank you family and friends it was indeed a rockstar decade for me.

And just like any book or any good movie, there is an end to everything. So I welcomed 2010 with the hope of growing a few inches more. Have I achieved that goal? That’s what im gonna share with you next ^^ 

The EndlessHappyness Album

Join us in pulling together simple happyness ^_^
tumblr : www.endlesshappyness.tumblr.com
facebook : endless happyness album

WELCOME TO ENDLESS HAPPYNESS ALBUM

Orson Welles said ““If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story” 2010 is almost over, I bet it was a mixture of heaven and hell for us, somewhere along the bus ride you came across the question “ What will really make me happy” or Where can I find happiness”

I read once, “Don’t seek happiness. Happiness is ever elusive, but freedom from unhappiness is attainable now.” It made perfect sense to me. Happy things can be found on the simple things around us, those perfect moments we sometimes pay no attention to, the words we often choose not to hear or in the unadorned incidents we bump into everyday.

So, for 2011 let us not focus on depressing things and depressing people, it can slaughter our happiness meter. Focus on now and leave the past behind. Direct your attention on simple and pure happy things and I tell you, it can do wonders!

Today, this album is born. Share with everyone your simple happiness whether it’s your dog, a sip of coffee, a hug,  a book  or even just hitting the sack… Why not shoot us an email {endlessnasaya@gmail.com} with a photo taken with your camera (DSLR, P&S,mobile phone etc) of your simple happiness and you can add a little caption if you want ^^ - we can enhance it too upon request *wink* and if it’s worth sharing we will post it on this album. Who knows, we can touch a sad soul and turn his sadness into dancing. 30,50,100 pictures? Na-ah, simple happiness should be limitless!

 Friends life is the dancer, and we are the dance. Don’t find happiness, be one!

“ I asked God for Happiness, and He said No. I give you blessings… Happiness is up to you.”

The last time you were right

I rode the MRT going home after a wedding hosting this evening. I had to do the “round trip” to be able to rest my sore feet after hours of being under the stilettos. After laying down my butt and getting ready for forty winks I had a glimpse of a cute kid (they are one of my weaknesses especially the cute Chinese/Japanase kids). He has nowhere else to sit but on the train floor.

Tonight, I made a different choice. I ignored him. What do I mean by that? I would normally do the “right” thing – what our values education teacher taught when we were in high school, what is pleasing to the eyes and what melts the heart. I would happily offer my seat. Same goes if I see an old lady, pregnant woman or a handicapped. But yeah, tonight I chose a different path. I told myself, “Just now”, maybe I’m just too tired or maybe I just want a new perspective.

Then I started to think, no – be AWARE, of what’s going on. Where does RIGHT AND WRONG originated? Who labels whether a thing, situation or people are right or wrong?

Then I came up with a conclusion. THERE’S ALWAYS TWO SIDES OF A STORY even if let’s say both speaks the TRUTH.

Culture, personal values, relationships, experiences and a gang of other factors would present itself and justify whether something is right or wrong. On my personal opinion, being right gives us that boost in our ego. Whether we are conscious of it or not, there is a sense of satisfaction when we do the right thing. You know that lines like “ I told you so”, “ I knew it!”, “I am right and you are wrong” , “I have my reasons” blah blah blah! The TRUTH, as Echart Tolle told in one of his books – is a story we have to believe in, in which means, a BUNDLE OF THOUGHTS. This is a great gift and a great curse at the same time.

I have my fair share of stories in discerning whether a thing is right or wrong. I am good at justifying a certain event in my life just to give a lift to my ego. Before, it kills me when I’m wrong, I would be mashed down to the core, frightened and feeling annihilated. I would not stop thinking why a certain thing could have happened to me. But things are quite different now, I still don’t have that much wisdom and understanding but Im starting to realize that the unfortunate events in my life have made me a better person. I face the situation, deal with it, cry or curse if I want to but after that I would let go. Blaming someone else would not do any good, hard to digest but that’s the “truth” for me.

My train of thoughts stopped there.

The MRT is still crowded, one woman screaming for being squashed, another was wailing and saying her mobile phone was gone, there’s this woman who wasn’t able to go down at the right station.  The train carries people from all walks of life, too many stories to tell and mine is just a tiny little portion of it but all of us wanting to be right and fearful of being wrong. One last scene I witnessed before going down, a girl with fiery red hair and uncanny outfit gets off the station, I can see people giving her a ridiculed look, I suddenly saw bubble thoughts popping out of their heads with mocking words towards the girl. I just gave out a forceful sigh.

 I might just really get a tattoo after all! 

originally written December 18, 2010

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2010

Photo taken by Skye
Hacienda Isabella, Tagaytay City
12.22.10

Ready, Fire, Aim

My wedding hosting resumes today after several days of sulking – it was a perfect timing! And yes, life moves on my friends, so whether we like it or not just be like a flowing river. Since I am a commuter I have to take the MRT. I was appalled to see the heavy rain outside, I just thought “ Thank goodness, heaven is in accord  with me”. As I reach the MRT stairs I saw some people avoiding a particular area. It was too late for me to realize that the strong wind collaborated with the rain bringing its strong mist inside the MRT pavement.

WHOOSH!

In a span of 3 seconds I am in the middle of it all, as if a leading actress in a storm scene movie, treading the unknown and exchanging blows with the hurricane. I came out drenched with rain water as if I have bath again (sad face). It ruined my blow dried hair, left my dress with rain dust streaks and my umbrella (Hearty) helpless.

I wasn’t prepared. I had it coming but I neglected the signs thus it didn’t come in handy for me. I am like a little chicken unsheltered, soaked in the rain, waiting for a rescue.

Then my light bulb flickered. I believe we should always be prepared; we might not know when is the next challenge would arrive but never think of yourself as a VICTIM, because the moment you do, your value will slowly die down, your thoughts will be poisoned and your heart will deteriorate. Sometimes we might forget we are armed, just like me when I hadn’t had the chance to take Hearty out from my bag to shield myself from the rain. If in any case we are helpless and we are in no way in control of what’s happening, at the end we always have a choice to see it in a positive or negative note. Hold in your arms the lessons, and hold in your palms the hope of a brighter sky even if you know that another potential rain fall is just around  the corner

originally written on December 16, 2010

There's a place for us

Thea, my dongsaeng, emailed me this picture she discovered on the net. She has her own version and this will be mine.

Seriously, a tear or two jerked from my eyes. I instantly imagine this is me looking at a brighter future. Perhaps a new beginning, a travel to an unknown land and yes a place where I perfectly belong.

This goes out to all my friends,hold on.  "Don't run from who you are"

We can be the kings and queens of anything if we believe.
It's written in the stars that shine above
A world where you and I belong
Where faith and love will keep us strong
Exactly who we are is just enough
Yes there's a place for us

Be Merry :) 

Credits : 

Song  from Carrie Underwood's Single - There's A Place for Us ( Narnia OST)

Beautiful Image from http://arhcamtilnaad.deviantart.com/

Astral Voyage

I just had a dream.

I don’t know if I have to categorize it as an awful one or something that I really wanted to happen in real life.

In my dream, I am going back to Marinduque, and I have to catch the last vessel. Suddenly someone called my name, the sweetest bawl I could ever hear. I turned around and saw the traveler’s face. I can’t believe whom I just saw; I must be really dreaming – level 3.

He was in a hurry, tears falling heavily on his face. I want to wipe it away but it seems those tears were so far away. It was visible to the eyes yet invisible to the hands.  He pronounced the most excellent words I would like to hear and I found myself weeping in joy. He wanted to join me on my voyage back to paradise.

But wait, he needs to acquire his ticket first! He told me to wait for him as he gets one. He dissolved in the crowd as I wait patiently.

Hours, days, years? I don’t know how long I waited. I am aware this is a dream so things are kinda blurry. There I was still waiting for his return until the sound of my alarm awakened my senses. I never usually wakes up with one alarm clock, it should be at least three but what in the hell is happening? I am being pulled back to reality. I can see myself dissolving out of the dream, my feet first then my legs, my arms. I am struggling and I believe I heard myself said “ WAIT, he hasn’t come back yet!” but no one seems to listen. I am coming back up to reality.

Darkness. Then I saw the ceiling, tears running down my face. I closed my eyes, really hard. I have this ability of going back in my dreams where I last left. Minutes passed but I can now hear the sound of the bell – the school in front of my home is now open. I can hear some birds saying their morning tweets, the wings of the fan moving faster. Damn it! I can’t go back. I feel so helpless.

I was tired. Really tired.

Shining light

Go for whatever makes you happy.

I have always been a believer of this line. I love telling this to my friends who are in the brink of something, either they are contemplating on a decision at work, home or relationships.

Then it hit me.

Uttering this line is easy, but being on the situation itself is not, you know why? Sometimes our happiness is not the happiness of another person. Hard to swallow but wait until you digest it.

I have 2 ghetto friends who have been together for 10 years as sweethearts, they even moved to Singapore together. The girl eventually became very uber possessive and clingy whereas the boy is the typical chick boy. The boy, every time he goes back to the Philippines, would tell me horror stories – not those of  ghosts and spirits- but stories how gaga his girlfriend could be. How he wanted to break up with her so she can stand on her own feet, but she would threaten her own life if he would dare leave her. Learning about this, I effortlessly agreed with the boy  to finally leave her because I know he is no longer happy and I also want her girlfriend – also a  friend of mine, to learn her lessons well so she can be independent.

Two years have passed and nothing changed. They are still together, until early this year at last I heard the news that they broke up. The boy went back in the Philippines (and I am not surprised that he instantly got himself a brand new girlfriend) and the miserable girl was left in Singapore – for the love of God, she is still alive.

These two seek for happiness, one walked away and obtained it, the other was left behind and was wretched.  

I never felt the guilt that in a way or another I was part of their separation, besides I just spoke the truth.

Find your happiness!

Then yes it hit my head like a solid  rock

Recently some of my happiness was taken away; I never questioned God, but I questioned the Universe. I thought it was on my side I followed the wooden sign saying : “Hey, this is happiness” and walked the path and opened the gate.  Unfortunately I wasn’t welcome and they have to send me home. I howled like a child but no one seems to hear me. My happiness was not necessarily their happiness. So how can we justify that? That’s the idea that is hard to guzzle.

Same thing goes when we pray for something. How can we compete with God? Like in a match, let’s say boxing. Both competitors would pray really hard that they take home the title but only one will definitely be declared as a winner, and that winner takes it all. Do I need more “Our Fathers”, or maybe I have to visit the better church, wake up earlier from everybody else and pray the rosary,  visit India and learn the essence of silent prayers? I can but  I don’t think any of these would work... if it is not really meant for us.

Yes, FAITH is important, but not all prayers are answered YET if we are not ready, if we deserve something much better. We might just have been blinded by the sham light and so, WE must be the LIGHT itself.

Go get your happiness, and just in case people or situation demurs and rejects you. Breathe in and breathe out then continue the journey, find a new path. You don’t need to explain to anyone, just believe that one day you’ll finally reach your destination.

Be happy,

Blueberry Girl

images from sayingimages.com

easy

found this on Tumblr.

Isn't it staying in love easier? then I had second thoughts. It  would still depend :)